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Tired and Confused

Cousin-Itt
Member
1 13 117

I don't know really where this is going I'm just a little down or somewhat confused. I received a phone call this evening informing me a friend of mine daughter relapsed and died She was just 32 years old a mother of a 12 year old girl and a 3 year old son. She Relapsed / Slipped only once, of course once is all it takes.  I'm sitting here typing with tears in my eyes  7 years ago  Nathan my 26 year old son father of my granddaughter Relapsed / Slipped only once, of course once is all it takes  The mother was 3 years clean My son Nathan was 18 months clean. Heroin really don't give addicts 2cd chances at recovery

  I wonder if those here that slip or relapse would still do so if the outcome would be the same. Would they still be willing to take the chance if that next cigarette will kill you.  Well that next cigarette you smoke just might That next one may be the one that starts the cancer, It might be the one that starts the no return of COPD land or the one that sets you up for a heart attack. Sometimes I just wish I could shake someone and ask what the hell are you thinking  Have you ever seen anyone gasp for their last breath I had a younger sister severe COPD and a few other complications When they removed life support one of my sisters and I held he hand until she died Before lighting up the next one ask one of the elders here how it feels to gasp for air Think of that next cigarette as the one that kills you.  

  Tonight I'm tired,  I thinking of my nephew who at the age of 19 committed suicide I'm thinking of my sons friend at 18 committed suicide   I'm tired people and confused

  Don't want a response I just needed to put it out there

13 Comments
About the Author
Raised 4 boys My second oldest died in 2013 at the age of 25. I have 3 granddaughters the youngest born 10/21 and 1 grandson born 12/14/2019. I coached little baseball for over 18 years. Worked in construction my whole life My last 2 cigarettes were on the way to the emergency room. That was the last thing I remembered as I woke up my hands tied o the hospital bed on a ventilator I was out for 4 days