Christine13

How?  Why?  Where to now?

Blog Post created by Christine13 on Aug 4, 2020

How do I stop the cigarette addiction?  Most days I can hardly get going and get dressed and get functional.

I sit in a daze all day, as long as I'm on the computer I am ok.  Why do I smoke?  Why do I want to stop?

I somehow let my smoking life take over.  I have to actually get this!!  After Brian I just feel like I'm just going through the motions of living.  So now is my question, why does it really matter?  It does, I know I matter to some, but I still don't feel worthy.  I feel like I am weak when it comes to smoking, and yet one day I had it going well, and then screwed up.

 

Put it this way, I don't need cigarettes to numb me up, I am already numb.  Why do I want to quit?

I just want to relieve my mental torture, and shi* or get off the pot.  Either you smoke or you don't.

I've succumbed to having two cigarettes every morning.  Tomorrow I wake up fresh, I won't want to face the day smokefree but I will.  There are a lot of newbies right now.  I am a newbie/oldie.  Dear god, give me strength, to live my life and not a lie.

please, I need to do a 180 here and change my life, I have a lot of fear about quitting.  I have fear I will loose it completely.  

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