I am still studying on addition as it helps me maintain a straight mind. I am starting to feel better physically and I find I am getting more energy, whereas before, I kind of had to force myself to do things. I must be getting more of an oxygen feed now. Still fighting off the moments of weakness. The new thought that has been brought forward now is, "and why are you doing this again"? 1 of the hardest moments for me was I was going to the store and I asked my husband if he wanted anything. He had me buy cigarettes for him. I had to take a breath and shove them in my purse. Trying to live life on its terms without nicotine. It said in my readings that nicotine would push your emotions down. I am finding this to be true. Before, I would go outside to smoke, now I have to deal with emotion. Kind of scary though, it seemed as having a couple of smokes did help me to keep my mouth shut and emotions pushed down. I also say, "no nicotine today" as it helps too. They say it is not about will power (which I believe) but one must remain strong and keep their mind set. I have to trust myself to stop hurting myself.
