Just feel I have to share this with you. As you know, I’ve been a very fortunate quitter. Apart from the beginning and a little while in NML, I truly can’t complain about having strong cravings or finding excuses to smoke. I’m lucky and I know it. I can appreciate that most other people have a way worse time quitting than what I’ve had. It’s why I still stay connected here daily – EX is what keeps me happy and nicotine free because you all remind me how much worse off I could have been.
But I thought it was all (mostly) behind me and at 464 days of freedom, all I need is to be a little vigilant and “keep on keeping on”.
Last night I had a long spell of sneezing (just allergies). At one point I was in the kitchen and the tissues were next to Derek in the lounge. I felt a sneeze coming on and said to him: “sweetheart please pass me that cigarette”. WTH???
Where did that come from? Just like that – please pass me that cigarette???
I only have smoky thoughts occasionally. I don’t fight them – just tell them ‘where to go’. And then out of nowhere, that word just fell out of my mouth! I haven’t even seen anybody smoking in months!
Wake up call… You cannot let your guard down. Somewhere in there, among all the other voices in my head, the little witch is alive and well and biding her time, ready to trip me up.
464 days DOF. That’s 1 year, 3.5 months – SMOKE FREE. I want to stay that way. But wanting isn’t enough. We must accept and remember that we will always be addicts and we must NEVER EVER FORGET day 1.
Stay alert, stay alive and bright blessings to all.