Bree's journey continues

Blog Post created by Bree19 on Oct 4, 2017

Good morning EXer’s


Sun is shining, lawnmowers are going (love the sound), my cats are loving, my blind doggie (Crumble) is still lively and eating and going outside.  Derek has a listing so there will be a sale soon and some money coming in (last 12 months he only sold 2 properties – tough times.)  I’m still smoke free (219 days). 


Can I just repeat that?  I’M STILL SMOKE FREE AT 219 DAYS.  Thank you…thank you very much (Elvis style).


It’s October and breast cancer awareness month here (there too?).  So pink bows outside every 2nd or 3rd house tied to the fences.  It brightens everything.  I have no personal experience/family who had to battle the disease, but I wholeheartedly support the drive for awareness.  Since mid-September, we’ve also had a lot of yellow ribbons fluttering in the breeze for the start of Spring/Summer.  AND being October now, the Jacarandas are creeping out and the streets are amazing in the purple haze.


Getting out of bed and getting ready for the day is NO PROBLEM.  Going outside is happening but not gladly; but at least I DO go outside into the garden.  (AND I’ve twice taken the camera out jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 Dale!  It gives such a surprising perspective of things we live with every day! )  And the knees are feeling stronger again Giulia Giulia – I’m walking.


Leaving home in the car is a challenge and uses 3 tissues but I’m doing it – not a lot – doctor, wool shop, visiting Kat – not much else yet.  The diet’s gone to hell but I will tackle that again when I feel the same resolve as I did with quitting.  I followed the programme and enjoyed losing the weight before starting my quit.  But I had to concentrate on the quit more so I let the eating slide.  This too shall pass.


The Psych, bless the man, instead of increasing dosages of head meds, changed some things around and I’m simply starting to feel normal – not giddy, not manic, just ordinary.  The heart is beating at a normal rate and my chest hasn’t closed up for just about a week now.


I’m cooking again, crocheting up a storm, dressing first thing in the morning (yes, I was depressed enough to just stay in the pj’s all day – shame on me!)


I hated myself and most things/people around me.  That feeling’s GONE. 


Newbies (actually everyone) please take this to heart.  Take/use the advice and guidance from the Elders to educate yourself and to read and to commit, participate and stay close to the site. 


I never stopped, not even for a day, reading, reading, re-reading book-marked pages, watching what everyone was up to here on the site, reading the articles Thomas posts, liked and pledged as much as I could…and because of this group of people, ALL of you, I never, not once, felt like smoking.   I went through hell and back with panic, depression, thoughts of harming myself, wanting to run away (agoraphobia helped me NOT to do that!), but craves?...hardly ever…because I had all of you and your experiences to read every day and get me through a 30-second crave.


That’s all I have for now.  I’m blessed to have found you 9 months ago and you must never underestimate the value of your opinions on the site. 


Hugs and love to you all