BeKind

Still chugging along - 2 months +

Blog Post created by BeKind on Aug 3, 2018

It's been 65 days! Some things I wanted to post in case it helps anyone. In the last few weeks, I noticed some changes with my body and mind:

 

I’m eating and craving more food - more carbs and desserts. Which resulted in weight gain obviously. I’m not sure how much, but it’s enough to make all my clothes tight and uncomfortable. Maybe 15 lbs, I need to put a new battery in my scale. I’m not really motivated to do that though. :/

 

My back and shoulders are breaking out with acne and it’s uncomfortable and irritated. Now that’s a first for my back. I’ve taken up a strict face cleaning regime to help slough off the dead skin and clear my pores, but I still get an occasional face pimple. I need to start using tea tree oil soap on my back or something, because it’s not clearing up and seems to be getting worse. I read on this board and other sites, that quit acne is common. The good news is my psoriasis and dermatitis cleared up immediately after quitting. 

 

I think it’s my body detoxing, because recently I started coughing up a bit of phlegm again. I thought it was odd that after 2 weeks or so, I stopped coughing up anything, so it's good that I am again. Anyone remember how long it took for their body to detox?

 

Occasionally, I feel that my lungs are labored too – not 100%, which keeps me focused on my quit, but I try to remember to not be angry at myself for smoking so long. Otherwise, I’d just walk around angry all the time.

 

I’m pursuing a healthier lifestyle all around. I have an increased desire to exercise and I started riding my bike again. I’m also keeping up with yoga at least once a week to help with mindfulness and releasing stress.

 

I went through some family and life stress recently, and I had a major bout of depression. It was extremely difficult to deal with my emotions and I found myself struggling like I have never experienced before. I know that when I did smoke, I would just turn to chain smoking during stress. I didn’t have that this time, and I felt completely vulnerable and weak to having to deal with my emotions – I kept breaking down crying. That’s not me at all. I’m usually a pretty tough gal. So, I’m trying to get into therapy, because it was that bad and I feel those around me don’t quite understand. And, I need to better understand and cope with the new me too.

 

It’s a bit past 9 weeks and I deal with my addictive habit several times a week still. I’m so very glad I am a former smoker though and I remind myself constantly of being an ex-smoker. Dealing with all the things I listed above are minor compared to me choosing to start loving myself - finally.

 

Quitting smoking is the greatest gift we are giving to ourselves. It’s definitely a new journey.

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