My Addictions

[AnnetteMM]

Knowing and accepting all aspects of myself has been key to being successful in this quit. First and foremost is acknowledging and owning my addiction to nicotine.  No one forced me to smoke as a teenager, and no one put a gun to my head as an adult. The addiction is mine. I nurtured it, I protected it at all costs, and I fed it.

"Administration of a drug to an addict will cause re-establishment of chemical dependence upon the addictive substance."

I know for a fact that if I ever, EVER, inhale or ingest any nicotine in any form I will immediately reactivate that addiction. BOOM. End of story.

I have other addictions, though, that I feed all the time, and I make no apologies for them. In fact, they make my life worth living at the moment.

• The Twilight Saga. All 5 movies, over and over and over. I feel nurtured BY them, and I really think it's mostly the music, which is haunting and beautiful to me.
• Scents. I can't do candles or incense due to allergies, but there are certain scents that just fill me with love. My shampoo. Curve Vintage perfume. Lavender.
• My weighted blanket. Oh yeah. You have no idea how comforting that is. And when I watch my movies in bed, under that blanket, smelling my own perfume...well...who needs cigarettes?