My car broke down yesterday when I was halfway home from doing errands in town. I called my mechanic shop who is also a AAA tow contractor. Then I sat in my car waiting, with the radio off but the a/c on. I sat there thinking about Things.
I'd never had to do this before, this arranging of towing and rides and things, being all alone in the world now, and it was the middle of the day when everyone I know is working. I had to handle this situation by myself. I thought about what I would have done a year ago. I'd have smoked about a dozen cigarettes waiting for the tow truck and fumed (literally). And yet, I was surprisingly calm while I waited, as if I knew it would all be okay somehow.
Back at the shop, the owner and I discussed the problem and the solution and it would take a few days because it was a computer processor whatchamacallit thingamabob. So then I tried and failed to arrange a rental through Enterprise (ignore their jolly ads, the liars!)
I tried, and failed again, to arrange a ride home from the shop but no one was available. The young woman who does all the billing and stuff offered to take me home when they close at 5:00. Such a sweetie! I gratefully accepted the offer. It was just 3:00 at the time. More waiting. I chatted with the other customer waiting for his car. Never once thought about smoking.
At 5:00 we left. I knew she smoked, and I also knew it was a 20-minute ride home. I told her not to worry, and to go ahead and smoke in the car. I'd already told her about my quitting, and she worried it would bother me, but I knew she'd been hours working since her last cigarette. She smoked. It didn't bother me in the least.
I was grateful I'd already done grocery shopping on Wednesday, and I'd already gone to the insurance company to get what I needed for the new apartment (check that off the list!), so really I didn't need to go anywhere through the weekend. It's weird being without a car, and I will need to arrange a ride to the shop next week, but I'm okay. I'm fine. I am perfectly fine. And this absolutely amazes me.