Hi again, 14Djsquitwon. I'm going to post here a post that was on my old Quit Smoking board, that speaks to fighting the battle, or sometimes just going with it. She called it "Ride the Wave".
The user's name was Monojo, and she was a great inspiration to me in the early days of my quit...
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Posted 30 January 2014 - 05:36 PM by Monojo
I wrote this a while ago for someone who was struggling, and was asked to share it. This person had said that she was having waves of anxiety and smoking thoughts. I hope it can help someone! Ride the wave, man, it's like, gnarly.
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OK, I might be taking a metaphor too far here, but...you know how at the beach when you want to swim out beyond the breakers? To where it is nice and calm and you can just float. As you wade in, it seems like the waves keep wanting to push you back to shore. And at first they knock you over-- they tumble and toss you underwater; they throw you into the sand, and you can't even tell which way is up. But you are tenacious, and you want to get beyond the breakers. So this time you try to just pretend the waves aren't there. You turn your back to them and plant your feet, but they still smack you on the back; they leave a red mark and they push you over. But this time it didn't push you over all the way-- you are still in the water. You don't have to wade back anymore. The next wave that comes, you decide to turn your body sideways and jump a little bit. It feels weird to jump at first, but then you realize that you actually have more control that way. That little jump, that leap of faith, makes things so much easier. This time, you feel the power of the wave, but it doesn't hurt you.
Next, you see a really big wave coming. It looks ominous. It's already starting to break. You know that if you try to stand up to it, it will just tumble your butt back to shore. It might rip off your bathing suit top while it's at it. You can't flail around, you can't turn your back, you can't even turn to the side. Instead, you take a deep breath, and you just dunk yourself underwater and wait for it to roll over you. You come back up, and you're a little panicked. Where are you?? But within an instant you realize that you are beyond the breakers, right where you want to be. Where it is calm, and you can see the shore, and just float. This time, you felt the power of the wave, and you allowed it to help you.
I think you are at the point where you are turning yourself sideways. Hang on, pretty soon you will be diving headlong into those waves. I'll see you at the beach soon with my boogie board!
