Hi Everyone,
I quit smoking 51 days ago and I haven't had one puff since. While I am extremely proud of myself, I am still having a very hard time. I have read a lot on here and have found it a great comfort, but I haven't joined or posted yet. I figured I would give it a shot, so here we go. Any words of wisdom or advice would be greatly appreciated.
The biggest issue I have faced so far is the sadness/depression/anxiety. The urge to actually smoke a cigarette has dissipated, however I feel emotionally such a wreck that I keep thinking if I had a cigarette, maybe I would feel better. I know this is a journey, but with each day all I wish is that I will feel normal again. I just want to feel even keeled again.
The first month of no smoking was filled with overwhelming sadness. I was just crying at the drop of a hat. The littlest thing would set me off and I simply could not control the tears. This past month has brought about more of a blah and yuck feeling. More controlled sadness, but still sadness none the less. I wouldn't have considered myself a depressed person in the past, but now, since quitting, I would.
There is one other major issue going on in my life that occurred exactly at the same time as I quit. Absolutely not on purpose, but still these two major life changes happened to coincide. My best friend AND boss started spending a lot of time and paying a lot of attention to someone else. Someone else younger she can mentor and teach. Something she has a passion for and did with me so many years ago. While I have fully grown and moved on, I have spent so much time being her little pet and student that I have now become super jealous of this new person "taking my place." While I have spoked with my friend about this, and she has promised we will always be best friends, I still can't help but feeling jealous and anxious and uncomfortable with this change. Also, we all work together, hence the friend and boss thing, so distance is not possible. It's constantly in my face forcing me to deal with it. I do know this is something that would bother me regardless of my current smoke free emotional state, however I really can't tell if it would be as intense otherwise. I would like to think it wouldn't be, or else I am truly becoming a crazy person.
So my question for all of you is I guess, is all of this something related to quitting smoking or something more? Is this something I need to seek help for? Will this go away with time? What are other's time frames on feeling more balanced emotionally after quitting?
