51 Days. Still Sad. Is this normal?

[ltbrown022]

Hi Everyone,

I quit smoking 51 days ago and I haven't had one puff since. While I am extremely proud of myself, I am still having a very hard time. I have read a lot on here and have found it a great comfort, but I haven't joined or posted yet. I figured I would give it a shot, so here we go. Any words of wisdom or advice would be greatly appreciated. 

The biggest issue I have faced so far is the sadness/depression/anxiety. The urge to actually smoke a cigarette has dissipated, however I feel emotionally such a wreck that I keep thinking if I had a cigarette, maybe I would feel better. I know this is a journey, but with each day all I wish is that I will feel normal again. I just want to feel even keeled again.

The first month of no smoking was filled with overwhelming sadness. I was just crying at the drop of a hat. The littlest thing would set me off and I simply could not control the tears. This past month has brought about more of a blah and yuck feeling. More controlled sadness, but still sadness none the less. I wouldn't have considered myself a depressed person in the past, but now, since quitting, I would.

There is one other major issue going on in my life that occurred exactly at the same time as I quit. Absolutely not on purpose, but still these two major life changes happened to coincide. My best friend AND boss started spending a lot of time and paying a lot of attention to someone else. Someone else younger she can mentor and teach. Something she has a passion for and did with me so many years ago. While I have fully grown and moved on, I have spent so much time being her little pet and student that I have now become super jealous of this new person "taking my place." While I have spoked with my friend about this, and she has promised we will always be best friends, I still can't help but feeling jealous and anxious and uncomfortable with this change. Also, we all work together, hence the friend and boss thing, so distance is not possible. It's constantly in my face forcing me to deal with it. I do know this is something that would bother me regardless of my current smoke free emotional state, however I really can't tell if it would be as intense otherwise. I would like to think it wouldn't be, or else I am truly becoming a crazy person. 

So my question for all of you is I guess, is all of this something related to quitting smoking or something more? Is this something I need to seek help for? Will this go away with time? What are other's time frames on feeling more balanced emotionally after quitting?

[crazymama_Lori]

find other ways to increase your dopamine, your happy place.  Exercise, watch your favorite movie, dancing to your favorite song.  Research on the internet about ways to naturally increase dopamine.  Your brain was getting hits of it on a daily basis when you smoked and all over those nicotine receptors are dying off one by one.  I know I went through some pretty bad depression for a few months but then after about 6 months it basically waxed and waned and then just faded away.  At 3 and a half years, I've had my days but that's just like every other person on earth.  Mostly it's because I didn't have enough sleep 

[notch9]

I was quite depressed and anxious for about 6 months after I quit. It was not the first time in my life I had depression but it was a peculiarly heavy feeling. I felt like my brain hurt. Unfortunately antidepressants have not worked for me and can increase my anxiety. Even though it took awhile the depression eventually lifted.

I was so sick of the emotional yo-yo smoking cigarettes had left me on. I was using cigarettes as a crutch. Like my best friend, as a time to meditate. Plus there are all the long term effects of nicotine on the receptors in the brain. It takes awhile to adjust.

Remember that smoking does not solve any problem, it just makes everything a lot worse.

Congratulations on your quit. Just take it one day at a time.

[elvan]

For as long as we smoked, we stuffed our feelings down and when we quit smoking and our feelings come to the surface, they SEEM more intense that they would have if we had learned to feel them a little at a time when we were growing up.  It absolutely does get easier and we get so much stronger, emotionally and physically.  It is worth every sad or angry moment because with each one that you feel, you GROW.  

Welcome to EX.

Ellen

[ltbrown022]

Thanks everyone for sharing. The past few days I have felt much better. I got a stern talking to from my friend on how this has been effecting me so much that it’s started to seep into different areas of my life effecting my work and relationships. I know what I’m going through is a huge deal but that’s no excuse to be selfish and wallow. It kind of snapped me out of it. I have to talk myself down when the anxiety starts but over the last few days I can control it better. I have been able to calm myself spiraling.  I hope this lasts. I feel so relieved at the moment to have some peace but the thought of slipping back into how I felt before terrifies me. I can’t believe smoking had such a huge impact. I’m embarrassed I did this to myself. 

Thanks to you all 

Lauren 

67 DOF

[Barbscloud]

Glad you're feeling so much better.   Be kind to yourself right now.   What you're doing is not easy and something to be proud of.

Barb

[Apilling09]

Lauren, we have the exact same quit date. I too have been still suffering from episodes of depression and horrible anxiety. They come and go. At one point I didn’t sleep for TWO weeks. I never had depression before and my anxiety was maybe mild at best prior to quitting. Based on what I’ve read here and elsewhere it will get better if we can hang on. I’d love to keep in touch about our quit since we are literally at the exact same spot, either write to me on here or I can give you my email address or something. 

- Anna

[ltbrown022]

Hi Anna,

That’s awesome we have the same quit date. I’ll send you a message. This is so hard. I’m so glad to be able to hear your experiences. 

[imthequitter]

I’ve been crying spontaneously with no good reason at all. Was just going to post that when I saw yours.  I’m so sorry your reason may be magnifying the emotion... it is good to express emotion though! I don’t remember the last time I really cried before these many times lately. We must have had a lot bottled up. Try to spend time with OTHER friends. I have to do that now just because some of my closest friends still smoke. You’re in my thoughts. I hope it gets better!

[Andstillirise]

I’m on day 49 and tears were steaming down my face driving to Starbucks this morning . Heard a song on the radio that my Wasband and I used to like .  I went home and started exercising ! Exercising has been my life saver ! 

When I was a smoker I rarely ever cried . Like ever . Now small things hurt my feelings and make me sad . 

Hang in therre ! They say it gets better eventually.....hope so ! 

Congrats on your quit ! 

[notch9]

I had a rough time also with depression and anxiety when I quit. It seemed to take about 6 months to where I felt better but also by then I wasn't going up and down with nicotine withdrawals as I was when I was smoking. So I found a kind of serenity that I did not have when my mind would focus endlessly on the next cigarette. I am so happy not to be a slave to the addiction anymore.