indingrl.01.06.2011

Endurance aka Suffering 

Blog Post created by indingrl.01.06.2011 on Jul 31, 2020

Never take another puff ever over ME - Please I am talking about ME not anyone else - please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you - I will NOT smoke TODAY - Just because I received - MY Ma update HOSPICE report on MY Ma final stage in which MY ma is heading HOME - HEAVEN bound - I am thanking MY Holy Comforter for HIS fruits of love and joy and peace with long suffering kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness and self control - I cried when I shared with MY daughter Jaime the news- We all had supper together and watched the movies -  Blind Side and Speed - then Jaime and I fixed a jigsaw puzzle of dogs and cats - NOW -  I am enduring the process of. MY grieving with MY many of emotions and many thoughts in MY Lord Jesus name amen- I am SHARING - MY -  experience strength and HOPE - while STAYING in MY reality of MY Ma dying - FACT -  ALL glory and honor go to MY Daddy God letting ME remain NICOTINE FREE -  MY Ma has requested NO more phone calls and NO more visitors - MY sister who is her caregiver - passed the message on - I am enduring the choices of living as a spiritually mature adult inside and out - as a 63yr old grown up - MY Ma did her best and I am grateful to MY Daddy God I was able to tell her - I am grateful we made peace with each other in OUR relationship as mother and daughter - I am so grateful to MY Lord Jesus that I am not SMOKING - I will cope with MY Ma's departure as temporary - for I will see her again - I am grateful to all here who SHARED with ME their GRIEVING and HOW they made it through without using it as a reason to smoke - N.O.P.E. - NotOnePuffEver said to MYSELF - I bite into a lemon this past week and blog about MY reality - to loving EARS here - with those who KNOW empathy and SHARED with ME their loved ones passing -  and their experience strength and HOPE with ME - to NOT smoke over death of a loved one which happens to EVERYONE - I am NOT unique --  I am a RECOVERING NICOTINE ADDICT and I NEED people to HELP ME to say what I need to and be MYSELF -  thank you ALL -  for the past nine years of passing on to ME - YOUR WISDOM and knowledge-  to CHOOSE wisely for ME - as I live just for TODAY and for ALWAYS teaching ME for 9 YEARS. - to STAY a NON SMOKER -  just for TODAY - I try by STAYING a NON SMOKER - no matter what-  life on lifes terms deals ME - by MY practicing - ONE MOMENT at a time - by being a loving human -  becoming more and more Christ like in MY behavior and ONLY by God's grace to practice  continuing in prayer for all - I pray and ask MY Holy Spirit to teach ME - to DO the NEXT right thing for the right reasons  - by taking NO hostages - by NOT playing the child victim - by living MY OWN NON SMOKER life and enjoying TODAY - MY other sister called ME TODAY and said  - MY Ma sees her ma and dad so the time is coming - OH also - I smell NICOTINE smoke every now and again - I seen this person sitting on the steps SMOKING - I remembered - how I thought SMOKING was relaxing ME - FACT - smoking is killing people TODAY- thanks for LETTING ME be ME

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