Blog Post created by indingrl.01.06.2011 on Apr 3, 2020

When I sucked on DEATH sticks - MY thoughts were .....ahhhhh now I am calm.......or I thought I hate.......when MY sentence began with those words -  I would smoke a pack in a second...over MY FEELING THINKING.......MY OLD ADDICT thoughts - were MY FEELINGS - leading ME -  into believing - that I needed to SMOKE - that I enjoyed SUCKING ON DEATH STICKS .....I REALLY believed that in MY HEART and soul and MY OLD I wouldn't let ANY of these mean and nasty FEELINGS out - because I would HURT PEOPLE - with MY FEELINGS -  TODAY I have a NEW MINDSET based on FACTS -  please I am talking about ME not anyone else - please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you - FACTS and not MY FEELINGS leading ME OR MY FEELING MOUTH - it is SELF DISCIPLINE -  that I learned from other PEOPLE who were using their personal free will to CHOOSE how they wanted to live TODAY -free from NICOTINE ADDICTION -  I am an ADULT TODAY - after YEARS abd YEARS of admitting deafeat and I needed PEOPLE to HELP ME LEARN proper perspective of a God of MY understanding and of MYSELF and of PEOPLE in general and  inside MY heart and mind and will and emotions - MY SOUL - it is easy to people please and say what other's want to hear - TODAY - I don't people please TODAY - I share MY experience and  strength and MY RECOVERY from MY DRUG ADDICTION TO NICOTINE - to be HELPFUL and NOT for a popularity contest - TODAY - I SHARE MY TRUTHS and the lengths I went to suck on DEATH STICKS - how I chose NOT to be responsible with ALL of ME just so -  I could smoke at people because inside of ME -  I hated what HAPPENED to ME as a child - I hated ALL the things I was taught as a child by sick and evil people and TODAY ONLY by God's grace I pray for PEOPLE - I think of PEOPLE above MYSELF because of. MY God who is love and peace and joy and faithful and good and gentle and long suffering and kind and self- controlled and WHO teaches ME to allow ME free will to CHOOSE each day - I choose tough love and be honest and courageous with other's out of MY God's love in ME and God gave ME free will - I ain't HIS robot - HE HEALED ME inside and I CHOOSE to speak LIFE speaking words NOT DEATH words to other's - I choose LIFE - to tell the truth about NICOTINE ADDICTION - and to talk about what I did to SUCK on DEATH because I was a VICTIM of other's WRONG teaching as a child and with the HELP of God and receiving-  HIS free gift of eternal Salvation written in 1 Corinthians chapter 15 verses 1- 4 - please get a Bible and read it for YOUR self - thank you - it was SUGGESTED by PEOPLE that I get -   PROFESSIONAL therapy - to deal with being raped as a child from age 6 to age 15 and it was SUGGESTED by PEOPLE that joining other 12 step SUPPORT groups for MY MANY addictions - I would receive MORE SUGGESTIONS on how to grown up INSIDE and STOP blaming PEOPLE for MY CHOICES on HOW MY life was turning out TODAY - it was MY responsibility to LEARN and to be responsible for MY OWN FEELINGS and to feel them and admit them and NOT let them RUN MY LIFE by ALWAYS saying...I feel PEOPLE are...I FEEL like......I FEEL your.....I FEEL like SMOKING.....I had to THROW away ALL MY OLD ADDICT feeling thinking and feeling habits and feeling patterns and start to pay ATTENTION to the WAY I was SELF talking to ME - then AFTER 33 YEARS of MY God working INSIDE of ME - TODAY -  I am filled - INSIDE MY HEART with a NEW MINDSET - it is written - I have the mind od Christ - I STOP saying - I feel like smoking -I feel like.....- and TODAY -  I think FACTS ......I believe in FACTS - not MY feelings which come and go and are fickle and I will have MANY more FEELINGS coming and going - TODAY I am responsible and I CHOOSE to spread peace and love out of GRATITUDE to MY God for keeping ME in HIS peace and love - to pass on to ALL other's for I BELIEVE MY God bless ME with ALL YOU PEOPLE - I need YOU ALL to HELP ME to continue to LEARN and GROW and as God's HEALING peace and love in ME day by day - I CHOOSE to give peace and love away to STAY a NON SMOKER enjoying peace and love each MOMENT of MY NOW BECAUSE Y'ALL keep me LEARNING and growing BY YOUR examples of - NeverTakeAnotherPuffEever and N.O.PE - NotOnePuffEver over ME