SELF ? !

[Sandy-9-17-17]

I try to check in here every other day or so, and I may not do much posting, but only because I don't have a whole lot of time anymore!  I am so busy being busy!  

I am going to brag, because I feel like I deserve to.  I am at 81 days now, and I don't experience everything that many of the newbie's do.  I quit on the notion that they found some nodules on one of my lungs, and when CT results came back stating at this point they are classifying them as ground glass nodules, and will re-examine in 9 months to see if there are any changes, I chose to quit and be done for good.  I have made this my permanent quit.  Never again, will I ever have to quit smoking, because SINAO any longer for as long as I live.

I quit using Wellbutrin for 40 days, 150mg once a day.  I chose not to use NRT's because I wanted to defeat Nicotine use all the way.  

I come here every other day or so, and sometimes even every day, just to read and keep up with people, new people, older people, and I feel so blessed that I don't feel the things that many of the newbie's feel.  I don't have withdrawal, I don't experience craving at all, (I even tell myself to always be on guard)  but I'm not really on guard, as I have dealt with some of the most stressful things recently, and in my past stressful moments, I would just break down and smoke.  

Not anymore.  I don't even miss this nasty addiction/habit one bit!  And though I am struggling with getting all my bodily functions back to normal, and it feels like it will never happen,  I've thought to myself...............

"self?          if you just picked up one smoke, just one?  everything would go back to normal!" ( because one would lead to another) 

and then I'd say

"self?  that's the stupidest statement you've ever made!"

because, 

"self?   if you ever went back to smoking, you would just continue to shorten your life"   ( and waste even more money on killing yourself )

and 

"self?  how will you look carrying an oxygen tank around, while still trying to smoke?" ( I despise when I see people do this ) 

and 

"self?  how will you get down with your oxygen tank and play and wrestle with the grand kids?"  ( I wouldn't  be able to )

No, I don't talk to myself  often, but if I did, these would be the things I would be saying to myself !   

I feel blessed that I don't have cravings, I wish nobody trying to quit,  had to have them.  I wish nobody suffered irritability, or have to  learn how to cope daily with all the extra time they'll have on their hands because smoking took up so much time!  

I know that I will never go back to smoking, and that one day, my body will learn this new normal that is happening to it, but it WILL just take some time, and I do hope I have a lot of time left now that I am a permanent Happy Quitter!  

Peace to you All My Friends!

Sandy