Sometimes during a quit, there can be such confusion. The addict within won’t leave us alone and the endless drama of talking to ourselves becomes almost too much to take. The addiction seems to be slowly wearing us down with the constant babbling in the back of our minds. And sometimes by accident, we grab hold of some of these thoughts and start listening, making things even worse.
These are the times to look first in our past and then to our future. When we finally took the plunge to quit, at least in my case, there were countless reasons to go ahead and do it. I mean, no way would I have subjected myself to the countless days of discomfort had I not had very valid reasons to do it.
Most of these reasons came from my heart. I had a strong desire to live as many years as possible with this wonderful wife that I have. I wanted to see my children grow and perhaps get to know the grandchildren but more than that was the image of me in my last days if I didn’t quit smoking.
I could see myself lying on a gurney, gasping for breath. And I could see my family around me. The fear, confusion and sadness in their eyes as they realize that they’re powerless to help me. I didn’t want to do that to them if I could help it. I didn’t want them to see me as I saw my father on his last days of life.
Sure, in the end something is going to get us, but in my heart I knew that if I didn’t do something about my addiction, there was a very sad fate in my future. A fate that affects not only me but my family as well. I knew that if I didn’t give up this horrible addiction that it wouldn’t be just me that suffered but so many others around me.
And then there was my own love of life. Of the seasons and the fun of gardening and camping and just being with nature. I knew that if I didn’t do something right then, that I could never forgive myself.
And then I looked forward to the future. There was a wonderful life there, and in my mind’s eye, I was so happy and content. My world was filled with light, love and health. My heart was completely content and beating with a kind of harmony that can only happen when an addict decides to destroy an addiction.
So when I put that last cigarette out, I could feel my heart soaring to the heavens, knowing that I’d made the right decision. And when those hard times came, I looked to the love that was all around me and realized that letting the addiction get the upper hand was to degrade that love. To make it seem meaningless.
I realized that yes, on those hard days, the key to unlock the addiction really is inside. It’s love that the addiction cannot fight. The love of ourselves as well as the love for others is what kept me going. What kept me focused on the prize of freedom.
Whenever things get tough, take a moment to look inside, past the addiction to the noble cause that you’re now in. The cause of harmony. The cause of love. The cause of freedom! These are the thoughts that are hard to ignore. These are the thoughts that are more powerful than the addiction. These are the thoughts that only the heart can create. These are the thoughts of a winner!!
ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!!
Chuck
