There was a time about eight weeks into my quit when I had a week similar to hell week. For no reason that I could find, I had craves attacking me seemingly endlessly. It surprised me enough that I didn’t think of all of the smoking realities like the fact that a crave only lasts a few minutes.
Had I thought of that last fact, I could have created calm. I know that if I wasn’t in no man’s land, that I was close, but nothing seemed to get through to me on these days. The first day, I remember being angry, thinking that after all this work, I was going backwards. I trudged through that week, wondering what happened!
In the end, I did understand it for what it was. It was the addictions last hurrah! I realized that this week was really my addiction losing enough power that it wanted to try one last time to get me to give in.
It was like an abscessed tooth that screams bloody murder before it at last dies once and for all. The final warning to the brain that something was wrong. But in this case, it was my brain accepting it’s new world.
I know in the next week, after my tortured mind calmed down that I felt a kind of peace that I’d never felt before. I began really feeling the freedom for the first time after going through this last week. And I realized that this new week was a crossroad for my quit. That even though that previous week was hard, I’d made it through the fire that was my addiction.
To be honest, I was quite proud of myself for fighting off the demon that week, and what was really nice was that now I could see a glimpse of my future. Of what it will be like so long as I continue onward in the journey. I vowed to never be blindsided like this again for I wanted that little glimmer of freedom that I was feeling to grow and grow until it was as bright as the sun!
It was as if my vision had suddenly cleared, giving me sight beyond where I was at the moment and from that glimmer came renewed resolve to finish this journey with a smile! I knew I wasn’t finished quite yet, however. I mean, I’d just finished my patches a couple of weeks ago, but I didn’t care. After that week, my climb of Mt. Freedom was done with a spring to my step, and a smile on my face.
I think that week proved to me that nothing could stop me!
So never believe that you cannot achieve peace. Never think that the rewards at the end of the journey aren’t worth the effort. Though our addictions will try to attack us at any given time, always remember that even the hard times are temporary. That the next day or week is a new beginning that will continue to propel you onward to this wonderful place where so many of us live now.
It’s really not the end of the world when we quit. Actually, it’s the exact opposite. In reality it’s a new beginning, and one that is filled with light after we traverse the darkness. The trick is to stay focused on the light of freedom at the end of the journey, rather than focusing on current discomforts. It’s right there ahead of you, shimmering in its wondrous beauty and waiting for you to first see it and then take it. Keep fighting my friends. There is an end to this. There is peace in the future of a nonsmoker. Never give up and never give in and you too will find the wonder that awaits you.
ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!!
Chuck
