Ended up with a light bout of the flu. I think it’s minimal because of the flu shot that I had, but for me it brings some things to mind. It used to be that I could catch a slight cold and no big deal. Actually, it used to be that I could catch a horrible cold and no big deal.
That was before I found out that I had minimal COPD. Now, when I catch a cold no matter how slight, I have to give it extra consideration. I learned this the hard way. By living it! The first cold that I let go almost put me in the hospital, but it also taught me that I have COPD, so now I can take precautions.
And I do. I know that for others it’s way harder but for me, it’s simply keeping track of how my lungs are doing in order to keep on top of any symptoms that might pop up. Also, I try to stay quite active during these times as it seems to help me overall.
So often in life we think we have everything going the way we want it to go and smoking just sort of fits into it. That was my past. Looking at the world through rose colored glasses, as they say. In a way, I was blindsided by myself because I never really tried to see reality. Rather, I was confident in my own vision of how things were and the cigarettes reinforced that for me. Or so I thought!
It was so easy to ignore all of the powerful lessons that were thrown my way in my life, like my father dying of smoking related throat cancer, or the cough that I was developing with each year that I smoked.
I think that a lot of what keeps a person smoking is the belief that so long as the world doesn’t change to much, then we’ll be happy. Change is something that terrifies an addict. I know. I am one! We spend so long convincing ourselves that what we’re doing is right, even when we also know that it isn’t, that it becomes really hard to remove that fear of change.
When I was able to remove that one thing, the crack in my addiction split wide open! I saw the reality of what I was doing and decided that change was the only option. And I made it into the wonderful world of freedom, apparently unscathed until the diagnosis of COPD five years later.
I don’t feel any anger towards myself for ending up with this chronic illness because the past has been forgiven and I simply want to move forward, doing everything I can to enjoy every aspect of my world of freedom. If I have to be a little more cautious in my life, then so be it! I will.
The main thing for all of us is the fact that we faced change and accepted it for what it is. And when we finally understood what we as addicts were doing with ourselves, we learned to understand that this change is a wonderful thing!
That’s one of the reasons that I enjoy this place so much. Everyone here is embracing change and battling for freedom simply because we know it’s the right thing to do! And it’s the only acceptable option for our futures.
So smile as you embrace change. It’s really not all bad. In fact, it’s the creation of a brand new world and one that is so wonderful once we get past the lies of addiction. I love watching freedom blossom after the committed work that it takes to be free!
Sorry for rambling. What I really wanted to say was, have a wonderful smokefree day, my friends!
ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!!