Thomas3.20.2010

Closet Smoking

Blog Post created by Thomas3.20.2010 on Sep 30, 2011
" I smoked. I just couldn't not. I know it makes me weak, but I needed it." Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right. Henry Ford The first and worst of all frauds is to cheat oneself. - Gamaliel Bailey Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or to lose. ~Lyndon B. Johnson Folks, I'm sorry to say that it's faulty thinking to think that you can take a "Smoke Vacation" away from your quit for any reason! It sounds really good and one would think that it's reasonable. After all, on holidays and vacation, I can drink a beer or two without turning into an alcoholic! In the past during my months long quits I certainly did this with sickerettes and really convinced myself that it was possible. Therein lies the problem! Here's one nico-lie I told myself: Now that I've been quit for Months, I "deserve' the reward of letting my hair down and setting a window where I can halt the vigilance, kick back and if I want a smoke, by golly, I'll smoke! Then at such and such a day I'll hop right back on the quit wagon, no problem! Do you see the landmines all over this statement? -I deserve to kill myself? -I'm willing to risk my Smobriety for a "Break?" -Smoking is "kicking back?' -vigilance is a part-time job? -I "want" to smoke? -smoking is "preferable to" non-smoking, given true freedom of action?!?!? People, quitting isn't about deprivation and doing without! It's not about rolled-up Courage and Strength! It's not a sacrifice you do for whatever reasons! It's not about romance denied! It's not about staying stressed all the time in our vigilance! Quitting is an Attitude of Gratitude that recognizes that smoking is PRISON - the Prison of ADDICTION! It is a Recognition of the ENEMY - Nicotine - that will do any thing, say any thing, try any trick, to get me to relinquish of my own volition my FREEDOM from ADDICTION! I'm visualizing the hypnotic Count Dracula seducing the beautiful woman into a tryst just to wind up biting her in the throat! KNOW THE ENEMY! Smoking is counter to Life-Affirmation! It denies me my own nature - my own character of courage and strength to face life's challenges with my God-given Spirit! Quitting is an ATTITUDE of SELF-LOVE knowing that each sickerette brings me that much closer to DEATH! It's very possible, even likely, that the sickerette you're holding in your hand RIGHT NOW - is the killerette that will slooooowly get you! Quitting with the right frame of mind - SMOKING IS NOT AN OPTION ANY MORE ( for any reason, under any circumstance) - is totally stressless. I don't make the DECISION every day! That choice was made by me for me a long time ago!!!! When I pledge NOPE I AFFIRM that I will RESPECT myself enough to HONOR the DECISION TODAY! No Stress!!! I recognize the decision as Life- Giving, Self Respecting, Self-Loving, JOYOUS FREEDOM! So again, with total freedom of choice, I HAPPILY pledge TODAY, just as I have for 559 Days, NOT ONE PUFF EVER!

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