Share your quitting journey
Hello All My Ex Friends,
I am still struggling. I am treading water, I am white knuckling it. I know I am in No Man's Land...but I am supposed to be almost to the other side! I have tried to figure out what might be going on that is making it so difficult right now. Did I lose or misplace one of my quit tools? Did I fail to acquire a much needed new tool. I just know that I need something more to kept stacking my days, to keep moving forward. I am not having craves, this is way beyond. When I posted my Help blog on Friday, I thought maybe that was Nic trying a last valiant effort, but the whole thing came back yesterday. I shared with someone else, this is not a whisper in my ear, this is a deep gutteral You Must Smoke from some god like source. So last night, I actually put my shoes on, grabbed my wallet and keys and drove to the gas station. I sat there for a while. I went in. Then I went back to the car, sat, and then finally drove home. I was that close. Oh, and I had a bunch of change in my pocket in case I could fight off buying a pack and just would buy a couple off of someone. I am certain that if there is a next time, I won't leave empty handed.
I don't want to smoke. I want to keep adding days. I just don't understand why I am being bombarded with the obsessive powerful thought, now after all this time. I won't smoke. I can't smoke. But I need help to make my head shut up. Basically I just feel I am off my game. I want to be done with this and be a happy quitter, sharing amazing and powerful blogs everyday. I have had my turn getting answers and support. I should be done with all this and be one offering suggestions.
So, how do I get out of this relentless cycle that my addiction is putting me through? I need to end this misery. I have every intention to keep this quit, to start Rocking it again! I can do it. just tell me what tool(s) I may be missing!
thanks!!
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