Okay, I must preface this blog by saying I know this is probably an unwarranted feeling, but I guess if you feel something then this is probably a very safe place to talk about it. I am coming up on my quit date; just five days from now. And I know I have posted blogs that talk about how I am SOOOO prepared for it and planning how to handle it. But, in reality, I'm worried. I'm nervous. I don't know HOW I'm going to feel on that first day. I've read everything that you've all recommended. I'm seriously preparing (see previous posts), but here's what I'm actually feeling: You guys all seem to know each other so well and for so long. You guys all seem like such good friends. You share addresses of people who need special help (which is SO amazing that you have developed such relationships!). You all seem to know so much about each other. And I feel like an outsider and almost like an intruder. Like the new kid holding a lunch tray in the cafeteria who walks up and says, "Can I sit with you?" NOBODY HERE IS MAKING ME FEEL LIKE THAT. Everyone here is being SO welcoming and wonderful! It's ME who is worried about pushing my needy self into a place where all the good friends here might be saying, "Oh shheeesh, it's that Fly Girl again...and she hasn't even QUIT yet!" I had NO idea that I was so insecure until I got to a point in my life where I needed some real serious ongoing support for something I haven't been able to master in my life... Is this making sense to any of you "veterans" or should I just make an appointment with a therapist?????
