So a lot has been going on since the last time I was on here. First off I don't know if I told you guys this but My husband and I drove from WA to VA so I could be home during deployment. Well that is where everything started to go down hill. Our car broke down in Minnesota when we had already ran out of money and had no where to stay. Long story short, My landlord was kind enough to front me the money to buy an older car to get us back home. Well the very next day that we get here my husband has to fly back to WA to get ready for deployment. Few days later my dad makes two trips to the ER in on day for shortness of breath, He is literally gasping for air. He is a chain smoker and has COPD already. well between all of the stress and even though I see my dad dying in front of my eyes, I have a fall back. I started smoking again. I feel horribly because my six year old is questioning me about why I m smoking again and didn't I make a deal with him to stop smoking....I now have to start all over and set a new quit date and feel like I have failed.