Tonight, I am going to be blessed with a visit from my beautiful daughter, son-in-law and grandchildren. I'm so happy that I will get to see them....but .....this will be the 1st time that I will not be sitting on the porch, relaxing, talking and smoking with them. Don't get me wrong, even though they are smokers they will support me not to smoke and would yank a cigarette away from me if I tried to smoke it, what I figured out was that I was setting myself to be my OWN enemy. Then it hit me (yes, I'm a little slow) that EVERY time I've logged onto EX it has been sort of like being slapped in the face with CIGARETTE, CIGARETTE, CIGARETTE and making you think about them. And thinking about them would make you crave one and immediately go out and smoke one....EXCEPT...there's people that are making you think about NOT having one at the same time they are making you think about a cigarette. To me, it's like I've been in training to meet and conquer the evil. I've been facing the TEMPTATION every time I've read a post and I've been beating that temptation every time I've not walked out and had a cigarette after doing nothing but read/think of a cigarette so I'm prepared! Will my body and parts of my brain go a little crazy when I'm faced with it tonight? Probaby...but...I've been winning that battle for I6 days so I'm going to view it as another opportunity to kick ass and add another notch to my belt!!!! Turning NEGATIVE into a POSITIVE. LOL, this blog will probably not make sense to anyone but me and YES..my brain is a scary place to be 🙂
