Mandolinrain

Nicotine Storm brewing...and I am miserable!

Blog Post created by Mandolinrain on Jul 17, 2013

oh gosh, what is this day 48 or 49? I don't know I am SO badly having craves today. I had to come here and just type....I had visions of running out to store and buy smokes, just one I thought, then no....came here. So if this rambles on and on I am so sorry but I want to cry. 

I am pissed, sorry about language, I want to beat a wall. I have jumped on the $%^#@ mini tramp till I feel like I will puke, I am chugging ice water, deep breating...and on and on and NOTHING IS WORKING.....HELP!!!!

This is by far THE WORST FREAKIN DAY EVER! UGH...I HATE NML!!!!!!!

I have had my son and his family here the past couple days and grandson, I love them dearly, but they smoke, I do not....and although they stayed outside, away from me, it was the little things I noticed when this storm began.

Cigg butts in firepit outside.....pack of their smokes on the dresser in room they use when they visit....watching them go outside to smoke after dinner last night and relax with a drink...which I wont dare do...I know it would make me want to let down my guard and smoke. But I SO WANTED TO JOIN THEM!!!!! UGH!

Okay, now I feel a bit better since I let all that out. I am still mad though. Mad the &*^%$# cigg. companys get the ^&%$ away with this. Wish they would all burn in ^%$#@!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, I am such a bummer today. I am going out now to run, maybe I will freakin die! It's over 100 heat index outside, this could be a good thing!  Pity Party is over~Signing off!

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