oh gosh, what is this day 48 or 49? I don't know I am SO badly having craves today. I had to come here and just type....I had visions of running out to store and buy smokes, just one I thought, then no....came here. So if this rambles on and on I am so sorry but I want to cry.
I am pissed, sorry about language, I want to beat a wall. I have jumped on the $%^#@ mini tramp till I feel like I will puke, I am chugging ice water, deep breating...and on and on and NOTHING IS WORKING.....HELP!!!!
This is by far THE WORST FREAKIN DAY EVER! UGH...I HATE NML!!!!!!!
I have had my son and his family here the past couple days and grandson, I love them dearly, but they smoke, I do not....and although they stayed outside, away from me, it was the little things I noticed when this storm began.
Cigg butts in firepit outside.....pack of their smokes on the dresser in room they use when they visit....watching them go outside to smoke after dinner last night and relax with a drink...which I wont dare do...I know it would make me want to let down my guard and smoke. But I SO WANTED TO JOIN THEM!!!!! UGH!
Okay, now I feel a bit better since I let all that out. I am still mad though. Mad the &*^%$# cigg. companys get the ^&%$ away with this. Wish they would all burn in ^%$#@!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry, I am such a bummer today. I am going out now to run, maybe I will freakin die! It's over 100 heat index outside, this could be a good thing! Pity Party is over~Signing off!
First off, congratulations on your accomplishments so far! One thing to remember is that the true physical craves only last a minute or two. What I think is happening is that once your mind is recieving that trigger, your allowing yourself to dwell on that rather then on the freedom that your fighting for. And as such it ends up feeling like one long endless crave.
Distractions are good. I hope that while your running that you'll take a moment to look around and see the beauty that's all around you. That's a good distraction if you can get your mind focused on it. Oh, and as we all know, breathing nice full lungfulls of air always helps.
But the main thing is that you have to remember what your company is doing when they smoke. All that damage to the body. I found that smoking wasn't anywhere near as relaxing then I thought. But the thing to remember is that your not missing a thing when you are kind enough to yourself to not injest all of those nasty chemicals.
It can be hard at times and NML always surprises people and yet we somehow make it through. We somehow climb Mt. freedom and stand on that summit waving that banner of freedom high in the air for you see, there will be a day when you've crossed the boudaries of NML and when that happens you will feel a peace like you never thought you would!
Keep climbing!
ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!