I accidendly ran over our 20 year old cat! It was horrid. I can't even describe how bad it was as I loaded him up and ran him into the Vets office ( he was still alive and I just wanted them to put him out of his misery). Thankfully, my neighbor was home, so she drove and I held Arlo on the way to the Vets.
I know he is is in a better place at the 'Rainbow Bridge'...but what I am truly amazed at is the fact I never once thought about smoking...until now. It's not a horrible urge, it's just a saddness I think I am feeling over the loss of Arlo ( I am crying as I type). I know going out and buying a pack and then giving in to smoking will only make me feel more miserable, as I am 28 days quit by cold turkey method. I know that IF I GIVE IN and smoke, it will not soften the pain of the loss of our sweet cat.
I hate the control ciggs have had over me. HATE IT. So here I am, looking at this site instead. My other neighbor quit recently using Chantix. Today when I spoke to her and told her about my cat she said" Well, I have started smoking again, just 2 or 3 a day and you have good reason to smoke if you want to". I told her, no,...not really. It will not bring Arlo back and I will just be so upset with myself that I caved in after all this time.
This site is teaching me how to deal with 'issues' instead of 'Lighting up'. I can see, as I really look hard, how much control Nicotine had over me....and I am NOT allowing it to happen today.
Okay, needed to say this stuff, feel somewhat better and so very grateful for this site, you folks and God.~Missy
