I used to smoke at my neighbor's house, me, her, and her Mom, like 8th and 9th, probably most of 10th grades, too, every morning before school. Well, my friend found me on the web, I pm'd my cell number, n she called tonight. We talked about everything n nothing at all. Until she told me she was a wreck 2 years ago, when her mother died. I, of course, said, "I'm so sorry... What happened?" She told me about how her mom was diagnosed with, suffered with, and died from, lung cancer.
My problems seemed insurmountable this morning, when I broke down and bought a carton of cigarettes for myself, giving up on this whole crazy notion of quitting. Then my eyes were opened, once again. Smoking's death and destruction is REAL, and put in my path nearly every day... seeing folks with an oxygen mask, or a cloth covering their neck, talking with that mic thing, now this........... up close and personal. My God is getting up close and personal with me. That's the relationship I used to have with Him, and He's letting me KNOW... I can choose how I will live, or I am going to choose how I will most certainly die, if I keep smoking..... It's my choice. My free will.
So I cannot return the cigarettes for the money I'm out, and I will not pass them on to help another person die, either. One day is all they will have to sit in the trash before our garbage man comes. And it's good because I'm only going to take this one day at a time, or else I may become too overwhelmed and fail.
I do not intend to fail, I do not intend to even stumble. I cannot ignore these signs. My family needs me. I need to be alive for them, for they have TOLD me this is so, as well!
