First and foremost I want to say hello and THANK YOU to all my friends here who tirelessly leave me positive messages and are always checking on me. Please know it never goes unnoticed. I have been kind of having my own pity party lately and have been here only in the background.
So... I won't bore you with my story again... I'll try and do a condensed version..
I smoked for 30+ years and on June 4th 2009 I was diagonsed with Severe Copd and Emphysema, I was 47 at the time. Within a very short period of time I was put on full time oxygen. Then a year passed and my doctor told me that I would make a good candidate for transplant so after a few months the University of Washington contacted me and told me they had looked over my tests and I am too healthy for their standards.
Most people would be happy with that. And I was relieved... however it just meant that my symptoms by the time they would be willing to help me would have to be multiplied severely.
Last Thursday I had an appointment with my doctor for more lung tests. These tests are done every year. This had only been 10 months, so I knew I must be declining. I have felt it.
My breathing had decreased to 32% in 10 months and will be qualified for transplant. I still have about 20+ pounds to lose before I am within their range for acceptance. He said I am getting worse at such a pace that by the time I am ready to be listed I will be at the 25% requirement for transplant.
He said that he would get all my tests and paperwork together and this time send them to Stanford Medical Center in Palo Alto, California. He told me that they will be contacting me to come down for a consultation and a few days of testing. I am assuming this will take some time... maybe months before I actually have an appointment with them.
He told me that without either Lung Volume Reduction surgery or Transplant I could go with any bout of pnuemonia or the flu. That my lungs are in such a state that if I had to be placed on a respirator I most likely could not be taken off. I had been having anxiety attacks and have been back and forth to the hospital because I have sudden pain in my chest and I feel like I can't breath. It's because right now I am breathing with only 32% of my lung capacity.
I am angry. I have damaged myself because of smoking. It can happen to anyone. No one is above this. You smoke, you damage your lungs.
Copd is the 3rd leading cause of death in the United States right now, 4th world wide. That means 1 in 3 will be diagnosed. Smoking is not a joke. It is nothing to toy with.
I feel damaged, I am so afraid of this surgery, but without it I will have less than 5 years and those years will be spent more in the hospital than out, and on and off resperators that could collapse a lung at any time.
Those of you who think they can pick one up and then stop again are fooling yourselfs and playing a very dangerous game. Don't roll the dice... just throw them away and move on with life.
Getting through a craving is much easier than the path I am about to take.
I began a blog a few days after I was diagnosed. It tells the tale of what life is like with emphysema. You're welcomed to stop by and do some reading. It is always honest, sometimes embarassing... but a true look into what this has done to me and my familly.
http://asiliveandbreathe-kellie.blogspot.com/
