I was in a PM discussion with another member and the passage of communication turned my brain on in a way that I think might be productive/helpful to someone else on here. So I’m passing it on in a blog - just to share thoughts.
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You know, I don't know at this stage of my life if mood swings are due to hormonal changes, biorhymic changes, numerologic wrong numbers or just life happening as it always has - and did I not experience the same emotional angst when I was 5, 13, 18, 25, now? I DO know however, that they have nothing whatsoever to do with quitting and cravings. For I don't experience those any more. Thank GOD! And I'll say that again - Thank God. Those days are the PITS. And it's really great to be beyond that stage.
Personally, having seen life happen daily within this quit site, I have witnessed such incredible hurt and pain. Some of it due to quitting, but most of it due to just - life happening. When we quit we become more fragile, I think, is all it is. And we're fragile enough. Quitting takes us to a new vulnerability for which many of us are unprepared. Or under-prepared. Or it may open up a fragile vulnerability that we know not of.
I have always been a mood swinger. I just accepted that as part of my makeup. I think we have become a society which has become fragile. Because we're allowed to be. We've been taken care of by our parents for too many generations. We have lost the capacity to become the parent in that sense. To take care of ourselves, let alone our children. We have lost self-reliance. And this is not a good thing. This has morphed into names for emotional strugglings that are part of ALL of our lives. Now we name it bi-polar disease.... or attention deficit disorder or.. . Certainly there are extremes and falts (in the sense of cracks, fissures) in those psychological/physical/spiritual natures. But I think we are just bi-polar people. We are torn between conflicting desires and expressions and loves and hates. And the hurts caused by those conflictions consume our spirit and sink us at times. Sink us into depths of despair. Where we become immobile emotionally and incapable of forward movement. Incapable of ANY movement at times.
I think we ALL feel this tremendous amount of hurt and pain and hope and fragility. Some hide it better than others. Some suppress it better than others. And maybe even some just don’t feel it at all. God bless ‘em! But when one relinquishes something that has sustained them in some bizarre chemically-related addictive way, it causes more emotional hurt. Even though we know ridding ourselves of a habit - of an addiction - is GOOD for us. Even though we KNOW it's the best for us. Even thought we KNOW it's what we should do. Even though .... even though.... It's hard. it's simply hard - to quit. And quitting might make life a little harder for some of us who's lives are already hard enough. If you are reading this and are NOT someone who finds life hard - PLEASE let us know. Because we sure would like to stick you onto our mental happiness plate as an example and reminder of “the possible.”
Your plate may be more full of desperation, of desperate sorrow, of desperate need, of desperate hurt, want and hope. But I don't think so. I think we've all experienced all of that in one way, one extreme or another. And it's just how we go about dealing with it, that makes the difference between us. I think we have to fight for the positives in our lives, because the negatives are right in front of our faces and so damn easy to see. And the positives, the good, the joy, is in the shadowland.
Quitting smoking is finding the best within ourselves, acknowledging the beauty of our physical life, and strengthening our spiritual one, by discipline and love. For unconditional love takes discipline, and adherence, and perseverance. And a gift-giving open heart. And so does quitting.
The answers are right in front of us. All the time. They are presented in - oh so many ways. Especially on this site. What does it take for us to see them? But more importantly - what does it take for us to employ them? In other words - what are you doing to quit, and what are you doing to maintain your quit?
Passing thoughts....
