Regrettably I've had experiences in my past that were hurrendous. If I gave you details one would think this is not a no smoking site. But. These experiences have been heighteded by the presence of my predator recently. My counselor assures me that these feelings of loss and not feeling safe with prior abuse are normal and to be expected at any time we may be triggered. That we must rationalize and move forward.
My problem: I've been very emotional with this quit and melt down in tears at almost anything. I know from reading prior blogs that this is normal and will pass. My mind keeps telling me a cigarette will make things better. Temporaraily of course.
I'm not going to smoke. I'm really just venting to get it out in the open and on the table. The people on this site have never let me down in the past and I don't expect anything less for this situation. Sadly this in not a positive upbeat blog that I normally love to read and grow from. Nonetheless, this is my blog today. I feel better already so thanks.
