~~You get a strange feeling when you're about to leave a place. Like you'll not only miss the people you love, but you;ll miss the person you are now at this time and this place. Because you'll never be this way again.~~ Unknown
I get it. The reluctance to quit smoking. Not just the addiction part, which you KNOW is hard to let go of. But the part of letting go of your life the way it is. You are comfortable as a smoker. Of course you don't want to get cancer or any dreaded illness from smoking (which is why you know you need to quit), but you have a comfortable life, a quiet routine, and like your life just the way it is.
Then we come in and tell you that you are about to change your whole world!! Find new coping skills!! Find new friends to hang out with for a while instead of your smoker friends....find a new morning routine that doesn't involve coffee and cigarettes...find a new route to work so you don't pass the gas station where you stopped for smokes each morning....find something to do after you clean house rather than light up....new, new, new. Change, change, change. Different, different, different.
It can be quite overwhelming. Believe me, I know. And we all know it needs to be done and we all know that there is no magic pill to get you there.
And you try to explain to us that you like you just as you are. You try to explain that change makes you uncomfortable. You try to say that you don't understand why everything must be different because different doesn't always mean better.
I like you as much as you like you. Smoking is something you do, not who you are. But what you may not see and I see clearly is that smoking takes over who you are! You are as chained to your cigarettes as any addict is chained to their drug of choice. That means you...who you are....fades into the background. You are 'better' after a cigarette. You are 'calmer' when you smoke. You are 'more in control' after that hit of nicotine. Do you see? The cigarette...that six inch piece of paper stuffed with chemicals....plays a larger role in your life than you do.
So while its true when you quit smoking, you'll never be the same; it truly is not a bad thing to let go of. Because you're not letting go of who you are, you are letting go of cigarettes and the hold they have over you. Without them you really are free to be who you are!! You can be goofy or silly or serious or gentle or caring. All of the things you were before without stopping for a cigarette to 'relax' you. You can now soar instead of thinking about flying. You can take the time to mend fences, develop skills, fix what's broken. Or you can just simply be who you are without a cigarette.
I tend to think we simply shine when we quit smoking. Everything is brighter and better....including ourselves. But you don't have to be or do anything you don't want to be or do. You just have to not smoke. Everything else will fall into place.