~~You can't relate to a superhero, to a superman, but you can identify to a real man who in times of crisis draws forth some extraordinary quality from within himself and triumphs but only after a struggle.~~ Timothy Dalton
So you found the EX site and you are thrilled to meet others who know how you feel! You read blogs and make friends and....you are depressed. And you are confused. And you don't know what in the world is wrong with you because everyone seems happy and strong and courageous and...you don't.
You keep getting these feelings of loss and emptiness and old hurts keep popping up and everything is topsy-turvy. You don't seem to 'get it' and the more everyone else does, the more you don't. You rehash the pain of losing someone you love....you feel not just lonely but entirely alone. Yet you hesitate to really spill your guts because it will be out there for the world to see.
You don't get it. Everyone is happy with their quit....and then there's you. Everyone understands how to ease craves...and then there's you. Everyone looks to the future and is content with their days....and then there's you.
It's during these darkest times that you want to give up. You want to give in because how can you go on when noone else has the difficulties that you seem to be facing. All you see are superheroes here and you feel locked into the role of a helpless victim who needs to be saved from your addiction.
Can I gently point out that you don't have to believe everything you think? Can I softly suggest that you remember we all came from that place of darkness and we know, really know, how you are feeling. And can I sweetly remind you that you are so much more than these lost and lonely feelings are allowing you to believe?
It's all true. The power in your quit is almost ready to spring forth in all it's amazing glory!! The joy in your quit is getting ready to take you by surprise almost like those craves have been doing the past couple of weeks. In fact you, my friend, are about ready to blossom into the unique, expressive, remarkable human being that you were born to be!!
Don't believe me? Or maybe you are hoping for something like this but aren't sure it will happen for you?
I can tell you with complete and utter confidence that if you keep your quit no matter what, you will move from negative to positive. Kind of like breaking free from chains. You will be one of the ones who sings about the joys of quitting! You will be one of the ones who says with complete confidence that quitting is the best thing you can do for you! You will be one of the ones that a new quitter will want to be like.
Its just a matter of time. Give yourself that gift. Its also a matter of not believing everything you think because the addiction is still active in your brain. Again, give yourself the gift of time. Finally, know that no quitter magically appeared with 1000 days. We all had to give ourselves the gift of time. We felt what you feel and we worked through the emotions you are working through.
We did it....and then there's you. You can do it, too. I have complete and utter confidence in your ability.