Good morning Exer’s!!!
Man, I was doing some thinking about those first days when I quit. Some of you may remember them but also, some of you may be living those first days right now. And what I remember is those whispers. That endless argument going on inside of the brain. That nagging argument living within us that seems so loud and yet so quiet. As if we could never actually hear it and yet we hear it all of the time!
I always called that whisper “the addict within”. It was a way for me to address that endless noise. A way to put a face on it and by creating that face or vision of my own addiction, I found a way to address it. A way to actually converse with what I considered to be my enemy. A part of myself that was addicted even as I knew that this could no longer be!
And you know what? For me, when I recognized that yes, a part of my mind was rebelling. That a part of me was still trying to stick to those old habits. Seeing that there was still a part of my mind that had to be convinced that I was a nonsmoker helped me to cope a little. It helped me to understand that though I’d won the first battle, there was still a ways to go.
One can try to ignore the noise but for some reason, I chose to listen. And you know what? I found a mind that was confused. A mind that didn’t yet understand that basically, the foundation of our lives had changed. That what was once OK and so pleasurable was no longer our reality. That one part of our minds had chosen to cast off the demon that was our addiction while the part that always made it OK for us to smoke was still unconvinced.
And so began that endless whispering within the mind. And now I understood what it was. At least for me. And once an enemy can be identified, it can be fought! It can be turned into the little whimpering child that it really was because I knew that what I was doing was right and that I still had to educate that little part of my brain; “the addict within” as I chose to call it.
Seeing the reality of what was the true face of my addiction allowed me to directly confront it. It’s really quite simple if you think about it. I began rationalizing to that part of my brain. The child that had to be taught. And when that child threw a temper tantrum I simply smiled, understanding that all children have to be taught and until they are, there will always be little bumps in the road. There will always be little temper tantrums until that last little part of the brain catches up with the reality that is a non smoker.
This is when that mask of addiction is lifted. That’s when we really start to feel our freedom. That’s when we learn once and for all that this really can happen. That we really can change our realities and yes, we can train that child. We can teach every part of our very beings that we don’t smoke. And once that happens there’s just no stopping us!
I know from experience that the child eventually quits the temper tantrums. I know from experience that we first have to recognize our addiction before we can defeat it. But most importantly, I know that it can be defeated. I know that in the end every bit of discomfort and work is worth it for you see, I now live with that addict within. My addiction and I have a new understanding and that understanding doesn’t have even the thought of cigarettes in it and you know what?
It just feels so good! It just feels so free! It just feels like I was right when I chose life!! Go for it my friends! Show that screaming child within that the tantrums will not work. That we don’t have to listen to the screaming.
Always look to the prize of freedom. It’s there waiting for you. All you have to do is embrace it . . .
ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!!
