This is day five for me but as usual, I think I'll blog about day four.
I have to tell you, I spend a lot of time on this site but yesterday I realized that I can't always be here. I have to get out in the real world and experience life as it really is. So, I went and bought a piece of furniture. You know, the kind that you have to put together with those crazy instructions that really make no sense.
And I discovered as I began putting this thing together that this was a trigger for me. What a suprise huh? Still, when I did my prep work, I never thought of so many of the triggers that I have. Sometimes you just have to live life to discover them. The thing is that every time you do discover one and cope with it, it strengthens the quit, for me at least.
This is because first of all, I became aware that this was a trigger in the first place. I didn't run away from the trigger but instead embraced it and fought my way through the urge that it brought on. Which brings me to the second thing that I discovered.
The urge seemed to last forever! This made no sense to me so I thought about it a bit. I reached inside myself and realized that the urge had indeed passed. There was no real physical manifestaion of it. It was essentially in my mind. And I realized that in past attempts at quitting cold turkey (wich never worked for me) that this very same thing happened to me. I never realized that the urges passed with time and as such, the entire day seemed like one giant urge!
I think what was really happening was that when I got my first craving, my mind somehow convinced me that the craving was not over. Then when I got the next one, it intensified what I already believed was there. By the end of the day I would be a basket case and I always gave in.
A big part of this was lack of knowledge I do believe. Because with this quit, (aided by nicotine patches) I know that the cravings only last a short amount of time. Yesterday I had to reach inside myself to realize this but it did work! I am still an EX. I will fight this battle to the end and I WILL WIN!
There is not a single doubt in my mind and there is no fear. I am so glad I took the time to prepare for this quit and that I never doubted in my ability to do this. I've come a long way since my first day when I decided to do this. The day that I was unreasonably terrified to do this thing. The day that my mind screamed at me and tried to convince me that there is no life without cigarettes!
This in itself empowers me to be smoke free for the rest of my life!
