Well, the day has arrived at last. Tonight I will smoke my last cigarette at approx. 8:00. I've actually been looking forward to this day, to the moment, to the beginning! Yesterday I spent the entire day reading and thinking about this monumental moment in my life. And by the end of the day I was well, nervous.
Then I went to sleep and all night I dreamed about fixing things. I fixed walls, televisions, radio's, computers, you name it. I fixed them all and in the dreams I was very happy with the results of my actions. And when I woke up, there was no fear of what I was about to do. None at all. Not even the slightest doubt was in my mind about this moment.
I believe that my mind absorbed the crash course I gave it the day before. It accepted that this is the new course of my life and because of this, the fear of quitting simply and completely vanished! The thought process went on all through the night, realizing that I was fixing something that really needed to be fixed. There was an understanding created with myself and because of this, fear could no longer be an option.
I went to the store today and bought some tea for those nights when I want to go out and look at those mountains without a cigarette. I bought healthy snacks for the breaks we take at work and I've got lots of bottles of water ready to take with me. I'm as ready as I'm ever going to be for this. In the morning when the first craving hits, I'll remember the mornings when I practiced just for this. I'll know that it's a reality that the cravings will pass. I'll know that the first steps are the hardest and I will remember that any discomfort will only be temporary. I'll remember that I am fixing something that must be fixed!
I'll take my first steps into a smoke free world and I will do this without fear for I am ready!