Well, it's getting closer to the big day at last. All of my excuses to not do this have been exhausted. All my reasons for wanting to quit have come to the forefront of my mind. In five days I will wake up smoke free. And I find that I'm explaining to myself all the time how to achieve this wonderful goal.
As an example, I live at the base of several fourteen thousand foot peaks in Colorado. I always go outside and smoke a cigarette, looking at the beauty of nature as I create a kind of destruction of nature within myself. Last night as I stared at this glorious scene I asked myself, "So what are you going to do now instead of smoking a cigarette as you enjoy the beauty of nature?"
Thing is, I found an answer. A nice hot cup of decaffinated tea. It was such a simple answer and one that my brain accepted. A moment of realization that yes, there are so many other simple things that can be enjoyed withouit destroying the body. I really don't have to have a cigarette to enjoy the little things that I've always loved.
And in the morning it will be a nice cup of coffee on the patio to start my day. Just the coffee and nothing else for nothing else is ever really needed. Am I nervous about my quit date? Well, maybe just a little. Am I scared of losing that old friend? I really don't need that kind of friend. Am I going to thrash around like some kind of lunatic when the big day comes? I doubt it. I will occupy my mind with life rather then death.
Don't get me wrong. I don't expect it to be easy. Giving up an addiction never is. But I will come here in my weak moments. I will get through those short urges, knowing that they will pass quickly. And I will learn life without cigarettes as I use my NRT's. And then soon those will be gone as well and I will at last be free!
This is what I'm really looking forward to. The freedom!