So a little over a week ago I was on my 4th week and feeling really disheartened about the whole thing. Even though I had read Alan Carr's Easy Way and thought I wasn't using "willpower", in essence part of me was because he talks about how great you will feel after 3 weeks. Having already been a relatively healthy person, 3 weeks in I did not feel better. In fact, my cravings were worse. I had been counting down the days to get past the 3 week mark, and even the 4 week mark knowing that the nicotine receptors were slowly getting killed off (or more accurately getting put into sleep mode) but having the ongoing cravings that were the constant companion were making me very disheartened and depressed about the whole thing.
I almost caved.
And then I found this site. And I posted how I was feeling. And wow. The support and information was wonderful, and most of all, felt so sincere. Because smoking was a secret in my life I didn't have any support around it and man did you guys make up for that 10 fold! You and the blog articles got me through some very tough days where my mind really tried to trick me into giving in and starting over wouldn't be that bad. Thankfully I had registered for a 5k to run with some friends for fun on the upcoming Saturday (last saturday). It felt so good to be running during a time when I would have been outside hiding and smoking! I even came in 2nd in my age group hahaha. (not saying much, seriously). I am still much slower than I was prior to being a smoker but my lungs felt stronger than they had in quite awhile.
And here was the kicker. I'm nearing the end- in the last mile- and going up hill (ahh, treacherous. I live in the mountains) and there is a guy walking along the street smoking a cigarette!! I about died! It smelled so horrible and it was like a punch in the face. And a beautiful wake up call. That guy was robbing my air! And I was able to do the Alan Carr thing of seeing him as an idiot and feel sorry for him (well and be angry bc I needed every breath on that hill). It was so awesome I wanted to come right home and tell you guys haha.
And then the next awesome thing happened. Week 5 started. And I practically forgot. I'd have the occasional teeny trigger mostly associated with the time of day, and I'd think- oh! I need to go check in on the site- and then whoosh- life carried on... and I FORGOT! Isn't that wonderful!?! That is what I was waiting for. To live and not have it be in the back of my mind as the constant companion or the dull pain/ urge/ crave in the bottom of my throat. Literally the entire week just passed by and I didn't log onto this site once. I logged on tonight because I wanted to say thank you, not because I was having cravings!
So- for those of you out there in the beginning weeks and feeling disheartened like I was-- hold out!! hold out!!!! Right around the corner will be that relief you are waiting to feel.
Thank you to all of those who commented on my posts and offered your stories and encouraging thoughts. I am almost 100% positive i would have relapsed if it wasn't for your input. I am so grateful to you!
5 FULL WEEKS FREE! Yahoo!
(And yes, I know that I'm entering the No Man's Land time... but happy to be where I am)
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