Certainly if you can work it out on your own I encourage you to do so however if there is another member of the community who is harassing you and won't leave you alone, please let me know...
If anyone is sending unwanted private messages to you please forward the messages to firstname.lastname@example.org so that I can read them to be aware of the situation.
If you are being harassed public or see someone on the site being treated unkindly please use the Report Abuse link found on each comment under the Actions menu or via the Actions menu in the upper right of each blog, discussion, question, document, etc.
Choose the most applicable reason and leave a comment in the free form text field. It will be anonymous so feel free to leave a comment with more information so I have some context.
This is a safe and supportive environment for all members. We will not allow any unwanted or harassing behavior against any member of the community.
MarkEX Community Manager
What kind of problem? Administrative? Temptation? Please clarify!
having some problems with someone what should i do?
i feel lost right now....maybe i should let it be
no on here
Pretend your are your Best Friend - because you are...
Write out how you feel and then write back your best advice to that person.
Believe it or not - it works!
You can write whatever you like in your blog Violet. Thomas3.20.2010 's idea was spot on. Sometimes, especially when things are tough, it really helps me to "write it out." My blog saved my quit in the early days.* Sometimes just getting it out on paper helps you to see things more clearly.
You can start a discussion, or send a private message to any member here. EX is family. We are all here to support each other in our quits. I love seeing you at the cafe, too. Take care.
*the early days: any day of my quit before today
Here is what I was going through just at that same time period :
Day 160 to present (180 days): Ah, the magical six-month mark. I've had lots and lots of feelings of I'd like to just try one and see how it goes. I want to test drive this quit to see if it sticks. Then I think of my poor lungs that are recovering from years of abuse, all the yellow gunk that I washed off my ceiling fans and windows and my curtains. How most of my reference books in my office are discolored from years of smoking in my office area. I will resist the temptation, but I would have thought that it would have been gone by now. But then I think to myself, I've been performing the same thing for over 43 years over and over again. It's not going to suddenly go away in a few days. I have to relearn how to live life again. I have to go back to 11 years old before I started test driving smoking. I've only had 11 years of clean lungs for the last 57 years. I always think of that when that nagging thought shows up.
So in conclusion during this crazy time in your life, you will always want to smoke. It was a big, big part of your life. If you need to use anti-anxiety meds or antidepressants during some of this while you are killing off those nicotine receptors, talk to your doctor. They will be more than willing to help you along this process. Pay attention to your mood cycles, note how long they last, pay attention to exactly what you are feeling, i.e. first anger, then isolation/loneliness, then sadness. Then realistically note what reappeared, what dropped off, how long it lasted. If you don't want to blog, then buy yourself a notebook. Make little entries in it like you did many, many moons ago with your little diary. Tab those pages when these moods come around. It could be that women are more susceptible to the mood shifts than men because of hormonal changes or not. Weird thing is mine come around every 25 to 40 days. At 6 Months, they don't stay very long anymore. Usually only last for about a day or two and, poof, they're gone.
I'm looking forward to not having these mood swings. I'm actually looking forward to seeing what personality will reappear. I used smoking to stuff the bad stuff away. I really don't feel the need to deeply analyze myself as I once did when I first started this journey. I don't need to understand the whys, whatfors, becauses. I've done all that. I did my homework. I know what tools I need to combat the cravings, the bad feelings, the lure line that the addiction throws out. You will get here too. You will find the "all is right with the universe" feeling. The chaos doesn't have to last if you don't want it to........ (Hint: for me this all finally ended at day 193, think about it, 130 + 60 (being on NRT still) = 190)
SO what you are going through right now is perfectly normal and will pass and doesn't hang around forever. You'll notice all this time from beginning to now you had up and down cycles. Some months it didn't want to shake off and other months it only lasts a few days and you were back to normal again. but you know what, embrace those times. You're feeling again. In my case, I used smoking and drinking to stuff down the hard stuff, the bad stuff, the stuff I didn't want to deal with. I know once I quit both smoking and drinking, I became a lot more sensitive to things. Simple comments like where is everybody? Oh, they might be spending time with their families. Well, that's not addressing what you were asking. You'll find that there are so many places now to post things, that at times things get lost in the shuffle. 77 people viewed your question that you posted and 56 people viewed this post. they are out there, I think it's just they don't know what to do after they see it. If you have a small group of people that you talk with or that you find to be more supportive, then @ symbol them or send them a direct message. If you need help with figuring out either of those two things, then let me know. We're all here to help you, it's just that some don't understand how to respond in the new site
You may not have understood what the issue was. Have to read the other comments to get clarity.
I kinda got that after I came back and magically all these other responses appeared. So much for responding when I first wake up, gesh............
Just read that post it was so good, thank you Helen.
Question about the NRT. You were on it 190 days? Did you feel more at peace off of it? Im currently on the patch 14mg and lozenge as needed. Just looking for feedback on what its like to come off. I don't feel edgy, just wondering. Im at day 43. Thanks for the post.
sent you a PM
I am sorry that you are having difficulty with someone. I would address it in a tactful manner via private message. If it is not resolved you can contact Mark in admin.
If it's really bothering you and you can't let it go, email that person privately and tell them how you feel. Give them a chance to clarify what they said. I was very angry about someone's comment and I confronted them directly with a private message. We hashed it out and are now EX buddies
Whatever the problem is, I would try to address it sooner rather than later. Maybe you misunderstood something someone said or maybe that person meant something different...is that possible? I would try to address it privately, in a message and see if things get resolved. If you are having a problem with the site, Mark is the person to talk to. I hope whatever it is gets resolved for YOUR sake, it sounds like it is really bothersome.
Offer Bacon. Bacon is the answer.
Absolutely! Everyone loves bacon!
lostbutcandoit Oh dear! Coming from someone who has had her"feathers ruffled" on here many times and also "ruffled the feathers" of others on here a few times. I would go with the personal message first if the results are not suitable then maybe speak to Mark and if all else fails AND THIS IS JUST WHAT I WOULD DO and I really hope you don't have to go that far, and certainly don't mention names but blog it!
Please know that I almost didn't respond to this because I am probably not the best one to offer suggestions on this subject! lol!
Maybe you should stick with Dale and offer bacon!
I hope you are feeling better and that you have been able to get some sort of resolution. I don't know what happened but I really hope you feel better.
send me a message, I will talk, but I have only been a non smoker for 49 days, but I will help anyway I can.
Did this get worked out? You can send me a direct or private message
This would be great to have in Community Help so that if anyone else has a similar problem they can find out what to do. Can I move it Violet_Quit?
MarkEX Community Manager
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