on Jan 28, 2017So here we are on this new site and it's got all sorts of wonderful bells and whistles, truly! But suddenly those of us who had a daily connection here feel like that has all evaporated. Rather instantly at that. And it's not entirely due to the fact that we don't yet have a grasp on how to get around our new home here. The intimacy of the group seems to be gone and we're now thrust into a major "social network" kind of scenario which doesn't allow us to connect easily one-on-one as we did previously and were used to. As a matter of fact it makes it more difficult to connect in such a way by setting limitations on the connection. Both parties have to be "following" one another. I can understand the thinking behind it to protect from spammers, but it's really not about that, I believe. I think it has more to do with the fact that this site has now been moved into a larger social network type of community. And opening it thus, more protections are necessary.
My fear about the limitations of our personal connections on Jive (no wall board available) is that the "magic" of EX as we knew it will be lost. For I believe it is from that easy personal, yet open, connection that bonds were formed. It's a dichotomy really. And intimacy but one that all could see. Different from personal messages. We could see what someone else posted on a message board and not only learn about the connection between those two people, but learn, by the responses given, things we might not have known otherwise. And reach out. And offer support.
We took for granted that that availability would transfer to this new platform. Or some equivalency. I did, anyway. And it's shocking to be left bereft, frankly. There's a great sense of loss - for all the gains of the new platform.
Those deep bonds formed BECAUSE of that "open intimacy" I guess I'll term it. And those bonds are what caused the desire to meet each other in the flesh. "Avatars come to life." Those bonds are what created the first EX reunion. And they have gone on ever since. We're on EX Reunion number 5 presently. I wonder if we'll all have that same "heart connection" now that we are unable to connect in the same way. And what will future Reunions be like? Will there even be any?
I'm not a Facebook user, so am unfamiliar with that kind of social networking platform. From the little I know about it, it's rather shallow emotionally. Our connections here were not. And I worry too about the entire "gaming" concept. All the "liking" and points stuff. Because that seems to cheapen the value of the place and make it like too many others and terribly un-unique. We're here to support quitters and help them become free of this addiction, not win points and gain badges. But hey, if it entices new users to new quitting heights - GREAT!
So what's my point after this long rant? Let us find that means of connecting back to each other in a similar fashion. There are a lot of great minds on here. Let's figure it out, not just rue the loss of what we had. Lets find work-arounds. We are only limited by the site parameters, not our imaginations. This is too important to let go of without a fight.
Rather than try all the new features, I have been trying to get in touch (reach out and respond), much like I did on the old platform, but used some of the new functionality. I did not blog, used Conversations/Content instead, I used Ask a question, and used the Direct messaging. I checked out my friends' blogs, questions, answered some of the newbies questions, and tried to encourage everybody who's been upset about losing the intimacy you are talking about Giulia. Used the Daily pledge, used the train once, and responded to the messages sent to me. And I guess that is good enough, considering I have been working full time on Thursday/Friday, and spent some time with family today. Call me lazy, but for the time being, that responds to my needs for EX. I do not have "special projects" in here that I am not able to find or guide, so that might be a challenge, and my needs are no longer as high or life depending as they were in the early days; I did not forget how important it was for me to be able to blog, and how I was checking the responses every 5 minutes, in hopes they will alleviate the pain/the need for support. Hopefully our current newbies are finding that kind of support. I know I make sure to stop by and help if I see a question that seems to be coming form someone in immediate need of an answer.
And isn't this what this community has been all along? I do know that some of the elders were lucky enough to create this special bond that lasted for now many years, but this community did its job for so many other people who came, quit, gained the support they needed, stayed for a while, and went their separate ways, and are popping in from time to time to say hello, encourage, or confirm their status as EX, which is always encouraging.
So what I would say is this: let's not make it more difficult than it really is. Let's give it some time to learn what is important, and let's hope we'll retrieve again the feeling of belonging we had on the old platform. Things change, and it is called progress. It is never comfortable, but we grow with them...