Folks don’t quit until they’re ready. I often think smoking is an escape that also supports our negative self image.. it’s a real lack of enjoyment... situation... not enjoying yourself... not really enjoying others... desiring to be quiet and introspective while you avoid real life. It’s an activity almost like cutting... not so much like aroma therapy... cause you don’t inhale aroma therapy a bunch you just burn it on a tray somewhere nearby... anyway... people control their own life... and they often don’t want to admit to feeling crummy about themselves. I know I’ve had troubles admitting it too. Maybe her response comes from feeling judged and because she’s not ready to be vulnerable about the topic she fronts a perfectionist mask that says she knows what’s best for her, saying she’ll never quit helps her reduce vulnerability or shame for doing something that hurts her... like thinking about and facing the things that trigger her to smoke... I’ve quit several times. On day 72 of my quit... and I’ve learned one cig a day vs a pack a day doesn’t make much of a difference.... it’s about why you do it... and wether or not you want and can learn to give yourself what you need instead of smoking.... the past two days I’ve been depressed, I’ve wanted to cut or hit my head or just disappear, I’ve been crying... and today I really wanted to by tobacco. I visited my dad this weekend and him and my “fiancé” who considers himself “quit” smoked inside... it was so triggering and I felt worthless to them. Instead of going outside until they were done I sat there. If I make through this with my quit intact I for sure won’t stay inside a car or house with someone smoking like that, I can handle outside, but inside... it brought be back to childhood.. and I’ve felt powerless for days now.
