God Help Us Remember

Discussion created by dan15 on Feb 10, 2009
Latest reply on Feb 10, 2009 by claudia2
God, please help us remember our mistakes so that we may learn from them.
But help us not to dwell on them with sadness and regret.
And please help us to not be so afraid of making another mistake that we live our lives with fear instead of joy.

Years ago I had quit smoking for six months. A few months into it, I felt real joy. I was so happy that I was a non-smoker. No more having to duck out for a cigarette, no more hiding my filthy habit from my family.

After the six months had passed, I forgot how difficult it was to quit. I thought it would be nice to smoke a cigarette. I thought I could just have one and then quit again. And even after I bought a pack, I thought, "No problem. I'll just quit again. I've done it before." I had forgotten the cravings, the depression, the mood swings, and all the other junk that goes along with starting a new quit. I had forgotten about the short temper that can snap at any little thing...like the coffee I just spilled all over my desk as I typed that last sentence.

So I was back to smoking as much as I ever did, or more. Then I got even more depressed because I had failed. I had given up. All the work I had put into that 6-month quit was gone.

Then this quit, now for 40 days, and counting, has been plagued with the fear that I will fail again. The fear that I will repeat my past mistakes. It's like I've been afraid to feel joy about not smoking. Like I don't want to get my hopes up in case I fail again.

I know I've blogged about the fear thing before, and I did get a lot of encouragement from my friends here. But now I need to pray the first few lines that I typed at the start of this discussion. I appreciate the encouragement of my friends, and that encouragement does help. I think it has been incredibly helpful in keeping quit for 40 days. But it doesn't make the fear go away.

So, as a last resort I am doing what I should have done first. Ask God to take care of this for me, because I can't fix it myself.

God, please help me remember my mistakes so that I may learn from them.
But help me not to dwell on them with sadness and regret.
And please help me to not be so afraid of making another mistake that I live my life with fear instead of joy.