Didn’t Make My Date

Discussion created by Jordon622 on Jul 26, 2020
Latest reply on Jul 27, 2020 by DonnaMarie

Hi all this is Jordon, first hope all are well. Next, I sat a quit date for this past Friday, July 25th I started my day with n good spirits ready and knowing this was it. I had even begun to give the remaining cigarettes away. However, on this day, around 9:40 am I received a call from my doctor confirming a recent biopsy I had taken results were in. They returned positive. I have breast cancer. Needless to say, my world stopped as I heard and processed the news. I immediately ran out and purchased a new pack of cigarettes. Bad decision, but an escape. Later that day I received another call from additional doctors to set up an appointment for a consultation. I informed the doctor what I had done and that this too was my chosen quit day. She stated that she understood that there was no perfect way to tell a person how to process such devastating news. She continued and said please try and get it out your system and to quit. Since Friday, I have been trying and praying even harder than ever to quit. I did very well yesterday. I went all day without a cigarette until I ate yesterday evening around 5 ish. To which at that time I prayed not to smoke but broke down. I started with a parcel cigarette. I puffed several times then put it out. It worked for a while until I became emotional and l lit the remainder of the cigarette. That few puffs end up being 3 1/2 more cigarettes. Ending with a total of 4. Again, this morning prayed to not smoke only to start early this morning with smoking a half then the remainder to date 4 more down. I Will continue praying harder then ever that my Heavenly Father will permanently take the taste and desire away for good this time. I have my consultation tomorrow morning and I ask that the EX family keep me in prayer as I will do all on BOTH my battles. Before I wrote this statement I almost did not because it’s so personal but I am happy I did. Maybe I will receive words of encouragement on both situations. Thank you in advance for hearing me out. Although there’s no good reason to smoke or continue smoking Friday as I inhaled and exhaled,  in my mind, I was blowing out hurt, pain, and anger the best way in the moment I knew how. Thank you