Jordon622

Didn’t Make My Date

Discussion created by Jordon622 on Jul 26, 2020
Latest reply on Jul 27, 2020 by DonnaMarie

Hi all this is Jordon, first hope all are well. Next, I sat a quit date for this past Friday, July 25th I started my day with n good spirits ready and knowing this was it. I had even begun to give the remaining cigarettes away. However, on this day, around 9:40 am I received a call from my doctor confirming a recent biopsy I had taken results were in. They returned positive. I have breast cancer. Needless to say, my world stopped as I heard and processed the news. I immediately ran out and purchased a new pack of cigarettes. Bad decision, but an escape. Later that day I received another call from additional doctors to set up an appointment for a consultation. I informed the doctor what I had done and that this too was my chosen quit day. She stated that she understood that there was no perfect way to tell a person how to process such devastating news. She continued and said please try and get it out your system and to quit. Since Friday, I have been trying and praying even harder than ever to quit. I did very well yesterday. I went all day without a cigarette until I ate yesterday evening around 5 ish. To which at that time I prayed not to smoke but broke down. I started with a parcel cigarette. I puffed several times then put it out. It worked for a while until I became emotional and l lit the remainder of the cigarette. That few puffs end up being 3 1/2 more cigarettes. Ending with a total of 4. Again, this morning prayed to not smoke only to start early this morning with smoking a half then the remainder to date 4 more down. I Will continue praying harder then ever that my Heavenly Father will permanently take the taste and desire away for good this time. I have my consultation tomorrow morning and I ask that the EX family keep me in prayer as I will do all on BOTH my battles. Before I wrote this statement I almost did not because it’s so personal but I am happy I did. Maybe I will receive words of encouragement on both situations. Thank you in advance for hearing me out. Although there’s no good reason to smoke or continue smoking Friday as I inhaled and exhaled,  in my mind, I was blowing out hurt, pain, and anger the best way in the moment I knew how. Thank you 

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