Are you "trying" to quit?, can you "try" and read this? joe4320 Smoke Away Support[Broken link removed] Celebrating a 3 Year Quit May 15, 2008
It's great to see so many people quitting. On the minus side is how many people are struggling with this. I can generally tell when I read a first post from a new quitter... they use the word "try" to describe their quit.
try v. tried, trying, tries. --tr. 1. To make an effort to do or accomplish (something).
"To make an effort". Interesting. Do you "try" to take a shower? Do you "try" to tie a shoe? No. You "shower". You "tie" the shoe. Those are actions that are executed. They are tasks that you undertake and complete. I know the mind controls our actions. Who controls our minds? We do. You have to commit 100% of your mind to quitting. Don't think "try". Think "quit".
Quitting, for the majority of people, takes planning and execution. Occasionally, you will find someone who just had a life altering experience and they quit out of absolute fear for their life. They are the exceptions. We, "average, everyday†quitters have to find a method to quit that we believe in and then we have to have the strength and determination to stay with it.
I know that the topic of slips and relapses is a sore point for many. When someone has a slip and posts about it, there are the usual posts that follow. Most posts are understanding, a couple may be less tolerant and there may even be a "tough love" post thrown into the mix. Slips really fascinate me. How does a person slip? Why does a person slip? What was their mind set? What did they try to accomplish? Can you be quit and still slip? How many times is too many times to slip and still say you are quit? Was that person truly ready to quit? Was that slip an indication that they want to fully relapse and felt guilty about doing so?
As I've stated in many posts, quitting is not easy. It's a very hard, dirty job that requires strength, determination, dedication and a good attitude. I believe that most people who struggle with their quit simply think too much. They are so consumed with apprehension that they set themselves up for failure. It's a defeatist attitude. Quitting smoking requires a lifestyle change. Many are unwilling to recognize this or do not want to alter their lives in any way. As smokers we filled our days with the time consuming habit of smoking. If you smoked 20 cigarettes a day, and it took 6 minutes per smoke, that is 120 minutes, 2 hours, that you are literally doing nothing but smoking. When you quit, guess what? You suddenly have 2 hours on your hands that you didn't the day before! This is another great killer of quits. You have to recognize that you will have more time in the day and find ways to fill that time. If you don't, you leave the door open to boredom. This leads to your mind wandering. That is a dangerous thing. Slips like to hang out in a wandering mind.
Probably one of the most frustrating things for me to deal with here is the wide range of emotional issues that people bring with them into a quit. I swear I must lead a charmed life. Either that or I don't let issues affect me as much as others. So, can you quit in the middle of a soap opera life? Of course you can. Is it easy? Well, it will be if you can separate your quit from your "lifeâ". That brings me back to the point of this post.
A "quit" is just that. Quitting smoking means you don't smoke anymore. Whatever comes up in the course of daily living, you deal with. You don't reach for a smoke. You don't dwell on the "old times". You turn a deaf ear to the nicodemon. You can cry if you want. You can throw a tantrum like a 3 year old if it helps, but you don't smoke. To smoke is to intentionally place a cigarette in your mouth, light it and inhale. That is not a "slip". That is an intentional act. I suppose the term "slip" was first used by people who "tried" to quit. If you "quit" you won't "slip". If you are unsure of being able to quit, then you need to better understand what a quit entails and the consequences of smoking.
There are tremendous resources here and elsewhere on the Internet to help you learn how to quit. If you put ½ the effort into being quit as you did in brushing your teeth, you will be forever quit, for you did not "try" to brush your teeth, you simply went about the task and completed it.
Be Strong. Be Smart. Be Quit.
Joe
