Today doesn't feel like day one. It might feel like day 4 though. No man's land sucks. 49 days in and the cravings seriously don't seem to be going any further away. I feel like a fraud. Like I'm just faking being quit until my next cigarette. I was talking to a friend of mine who has not smoked in 5 years. He doesn't consider himself quit. "I didn't quit. I just haven't smoked". After 5 years he's still faking it until his next cigarette. Can't quite figure out if that's encouraging or discouraging.
Maybe I tried weaning myself from nicotine replacement therapy (gum) too soon. Maybe it's because I shouldn't have been using NRTs in the first place. I also don't use the gum right. I can't park it for more than a minute. I tend to chaw the sh*t out of it much to my bf's dismay. He'd rather I smoke than listen to that. Now I'm at a place where I'm running out of gum and stressing because I'm not sure if I should buy more or struggle through that withdrawal too.
Ho-hum. I'll figure it out.
In the dieting world they often talk about non-scale victories. Think I need help finding non-smoking victories to keep me motivated. I've kept the extra 50lbs I was carrying around with me off for the last 3 years so I can do this too... and without gaining all the weight back. So far so good on that front.
a) I haven't smoked b) I haven't gained weight.
And that is where my NSV list ends because I'm craving and can't focus.
Hahaha- it just occurred to me that I don't actually even need feedback from ya'll. What I needed was to vent. Thanks once again for giving me a place to do that.