I'm so sorry to read this, 14Djsquitwon ! How long were you quit, and how long have you been smoking again?
It would really help to know what the circumstances were that lead to your tossing your quit...??
We are never finished or completely done with this addiction. It goes to sleep, but for us addicts, we must maintain vigilance and not get over-confident or complacent. It just doesn't work that way, as many of us, myself included, have found out. I don't know how many times I thought I was "cured", only to fall into a "just one to prove it" or "just one for now thru this...(fill in the blank) " trap, only to be caught back in the addiction and full time smoking.
I also relate to the "tired of the fight" feeling, but if you keep on no matter what, the fight diminishes and pretty much goes away except for little gnat-moments of thought that are easily swept away... not a fight just a flick.
We're asking what happened not to be judgmental at all, but to try to help you figure out what you can do the next time the same situation arises (it always does, that's life) , to help you learn so you won't fall into the same trap and help with coping skills to solidify your quit.
Best to you going forward!
