Quitting

[George-Martin]

So I have dabbling with quitting for months now.  I just finalized a very brutal divorce situation- wife alcoholic pill addict- had 8 years clean- then 3 years of constant relapse-I am a sober of person of over 12 years- but addictive personality- codependent- go to AA and alanon for last 3 years-- She finally ran off with alcoholic attorney that tried representing himself to me as her divorce attorney- then he sent me an email saying he was in love with her and i should let her go- it was really ugly- he is now facing Ga Bar Disciplinary action.

I got into a relationship toward end of divorce with another woman-went on for months- didn't end well.  A bad decision to get involved before divorce was even final.

I say all that to say i have had a brutal year since July of 2018

I started working out back in dec of 2018- I just turned 60 and in probably the best physical shape of my life

The cigarettes have gotta go.

I was listening to Allen Carrs audio book a few days ago  and just decided to throw down the cigarettes and go for it- made it almost 2 days and then just couldn't take it anymore.

I look at this addiction like Tom Hanks on Castaway- when I quit- its like there is this big huge wave out there i just can't see over.  My cravings where so brutal tonight i just gave in

I have smoked since 15- I quit for 3 years about 4 years ago- I wasn't really a happy non smoker even though I was on this site- had read Allen Carrs book  yada yada.  My marriage was a constant source of chaos and drama which i don't have now.

I am still pining over this last woman- which really wasn't a very healthy relationship- I overdid everything-she broke up with me until divorce was final- used to see her in the gym and could tell she was flirting with other guys just to get me jealous-I just blew her off for months after my divorce was final.  I saw her again about 2 months later- she was looking really good- tried to get things going again- and she just was cold and only wanted to be friends-now Im heartbroken over her

Sorry for all this drama- I have never really seen myself as drama addict- maybe denial - Cigarettes just make anxiety so much worse- and quitting is a huge challenge! 

Help!!!

[maryfreecig]

      Quitting smoking does not require a perfectly played life. If you want to quit, Ex is here to help. This community is about  getting up and out of smoking. You are not required to fix (is that even possible?) your entire life in order to quit smoking successfully. I'm a sober and recovered alcoholic (over 30 years now) and above all else I have to live by the principles of recovery one day at a time. 

      I quit smoking over 5.8 years ago. It was a lot of work, but Ex (which I found a few years after I quit) helped me focus on what matters in recovering from addiction. And there is one thing I know for sure, that quitting smoking is a one day at a time journey. 

     Welcome to Ex, stick around, read, blog. We're here to help.

[George-Martin]

Do you have any suggestions on a daily basis- I just quit after listening to the Allen carr- not all the way thru though

got two days in and collapsed from a huge craving!

Thx

[maryfreecig]

      OK. Cravings are not the end of the world. You gave your quit a trial run, now you know the power of nicotine and will be better prepared for a crave. Search Ex for Cravings to read various blogs on the topic.

      NOPE (not one puff ever) is the most effective response to a crave. Along with NOPE people usual get busy doing something-- for many that boils down to exercise. Also, when you say 'not sure what I'm suppose to do each day,' I can't stress enough that a quit is managed one day at a time. And I mean one day at a time. You smoke 20 cigarettes a day. To quit, you are learning not to do that one day at a time. If that means you walk, blog on Ex, suck on a straw, eat candy ur whatever, watch TV, whatever--you do it one day at a time. No one can quit a weeks worth of not smoking in advance, or a month, or a year. As you don't smoke, you recover. It's a catch 22--NOPE, stick with Ex (read/blog), stay busy will help you one day at a time. If you think nicotine replacement therapy or medication might help--talk to your Doc--definitely search for the topic on Ex and online. These are aids and they have helped some.

    Have you seen this video on smoking/quitting? It's a good one. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nyIJo7VCdPE    

[George-Martin]

Thank you!  i will check it out

[sweetplt]

Hi and Glad you came back to Ex’s top quit smoking.  I like what maryfreecig said to you about quitting and relationships and quitting...also, you know the steps of an addict ...it is the same with quitting smoking...replacing smoking with healthier activities...dealing with things you smoked through...try looking at this in a positive light instead of not a happy non smoker...this is a journey you choose your happiness...we are here to help you ... now get quitting...

Colleen 207 DOF 

[Barbara145]

I think it is time to learn to love yourself.  Quitting smoking is a very loving thing to do. You know how to do this.  Stay very close to this site.

[Strudel]

Welcome back! You quit for 3 years - so you know how to do this. Congratulations on that success - build on that. Recognize that there is something inside of you that allowed you to do that - and you can do it again! I decided ahead of time I wanted to be a happy quitter - I went into it knowing I didn’t want to always be wanting a cigarette....and I worked to get my mind to that point. It too, a while - but, I was able to do it. Please stay close here. Congrats on deciding to quit! 

[elvan]

Welcome back, I am really sorry that you have had such intense relationship issues but you know that smoking doesn't help heal anything.  All the while you are smoking, you are hurting yourself.  Exercise is GREAT, I work out five days a week and I have for a very long time.  I also spent a good deal of time in AlAnon because my husband is a recovering alcoholic of 34+ years.  I accepted that smoking did nothing FOR me, what it had done TO me was obvious and getting harder and harder to deny.  I have been smoke free for over five years now and I have never regretted quitting.  It's a journey and there have been some hard times and some harder times BUT, staying smoke free is my first priority.

Stay close to the site, pay attention to the advice you have been given and know that we all want you to succeed.  Once you are in a more stable relationship with your quit, you will not be so bothered by the behavior of others, no matter who they are.

Ellen

[George-Martin]

Thank You!  Just not sure what I need to do each day- I really want to get off the nicotine but like I say I get a some time in an that big Kahuna of a crave hits me at some point-