~~Helping someone to continue to self destruct is not support, it is codependency-it is also not loving.~~ Robert Burney
There is a lot of discussion here on ex today and I love a good discussion!! I don't so much like how people don't agree with certain 'approaches' when it comes to helping people quit. Your way may not be my way but I certainly respect each and every person who has successfully quit....and therefore I also respect their 'approach' to quitting because it is a reflection of something that worked for them.
I am not a 'tough love' kind of person but only because I think that phrase is overused and taken way out of context. No nonsense is probably more accurate. Swift and too the point. Not my way but certainly nothing to disagree with.
I am more a 'you will quit when you quit' kind of person. Some may think that's cold, but I can't force you to quit. And ultimately you will quit when you are ready to. All I do is offer some advice to help you along the way. It may not be your approach but again, nothing to disagree with.
I won't ever agree that relapsing is ok. I know it happens. It happened to me more times than I can count. And I won't make anyone feel bad for relapsing. But I won't say "That's ok". And I'm not being mean or ugly. I know what happens to your body when you relapse. I know what happens in your brain. I know what happens to your self-confidence. I know what happens to your heart. Relapsing is not ok. It takes a toll on you. It is avoidable. And it is overcomeable. That's why we are here...to help you find a different way.
Ex is a quit smoking site. Everyone is welcome and I believe anything goes as far as posting what you want to say. I worry when I see someone thinking suicidal thoughts. I worry when I see someone who wants popularity more than their quit. I worry when I see someone turn to us for physical ailment advice rather than going to a doctor. We are not professionals and even if we were, no one can diagnose or treat you on a quit smoking site.
I've never not liked someone here. I don't disagree with approaches. I respect everyone who is here. Elders who stay. New quitters who ask. Smokers who aren't sure. We all have a place and we all have unique perspectives. Take the best of all of it and turn your quit from a burden to a way of life 
So let's discuss. But let's be kind as well. Let's remember that everyone deserves respect and dignity.
Short and to the point Has helped more than one quitter here!
You can probably tell if a person is asking for help in quitting,or not and is just here to share with us. You can choose to read their blogs or choose not to.
Not rocket science, folks!
It is not rocket science by any means but that doesn't mean that those who have concerns regarding posts should be dismissed. Everyone should be heard, even those who hold unpopular positions.
A part of my growing out and away from smoking has been a matter of practicing calm, again and again. And then again. Why? Because I am not a calm person. If I am to stick with Ex, then letting go of what I don't like is paramount. It's not what I don't like (at times) on Ex that is the problem, it's my negative thinking taking hold. I go back to my AA 'brain washing' a lot--live and let live, easy does it, easy does it--but do it, keep it simple, God grant me the serenity... I go to this stuff because I need to be centered to maintain my own sobriety, my own smobriety.
I trust that all who come to Ex--those who relapse whether they are told that's ok or told that that's not ok, are in a higher powers hands and that there is nothing anyone of us can say to cause someone to smoke, or to quit. But I think, Ex sticks to a high standard of unity and purspose (to quit) and that Mark and the site overseers, also, set a quit standard that I appreciate and feel safe in.
Thanks for posting, Dancingthrulife!!!
Wow...such a lovely response from a beautiful person!! Thank you for your honesty and insight, maryfreecig!! I so appreciate you
So kind, Dancing...thanks.
