~~Helping someone to continue to self destruct is not support, it is codependency-it is also not loving.~~ Robert Burney
There is a lot of discussion here on ex today and I love a good discussion!! I don't so much like how people don't agree with certain 'approaches' when it comes to helping people quit. Your way may not be my way but I certainly respect each and every person who has successfully quit....and therefore I also respect their 'approach' to quitting because it is a reflection of something that worked for them.
I am not a 'tough love' kind of person but only because I think that phrase is overused and taken way out of context. No nonsense is probably more accurate. Swift and too the point. Not my way but certainly nothing to disagree with.
I am more a 'you will quit when you quit' kind of person. Some may think that's cold, but I can't force you to quit. And ultimately you will quit when you are ready to. All I do is offer some advice to help you along the way. It may not be your approach but again, nothing to disagree with.
I won't ever agree that relapsing is ok. I know it happens. It happened to me more times than I can count. And I won't make anyone feel bad for relapsing. But I won't say "That's ok". And I'm not being mean or ugly. I know what happens to your body when you relapse. I know what happens in your brain. I know what happens to your self-confidence. I know what happens to your heart. Relapsing is not ok. It takes a toll on you. It is avoidable. And it is overcomeable. That's why we are here...to help you find a different way.
Ex is a quit smoking site. Everyone is welcome and I believe anything goes as far as posting what you want to say. I worry when I see someone thinking suicidal thoughts. I worry when I see someone who wants popularity more than their quit. I worry when I see someone turn to us for physical ailment advice rather than going to a doctor. We are not professionals and even if we were, no one can diagnose or treat you on a quit smoking site.
I've never not liked someone here. I don't disagree with approaches. I respect everyone who is here. Elders who stay. New quitters who ask. Smokers who aren't sure. We all have a place and we all have unique perspectives. Take the best of all of it and turn your quit from a burden to a way of life
So let's discuss. But let's be kind as well. Let's remember that everyone deserves respect and dignity.