I am terrified of failing.
Welcome to our community!
Most of us were apprehensive as we approached our quit dates. It is normal to fear the unknown - and you are entering that territory! Spend today getting ready - understanding what this is all about should help with the anxiety.
The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. You can search for it online or at your local library. If you do nothing else to get ready for your quit, please do give this a read.
You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.
After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort after you have tried to delay and distract. I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another. You need to start out with a plan to reduce use of them over time - which the patch does by decreasing the dose contained in them.. For the gum, you can start by cutting each piece in half, then in quarters, then sub regular gum of the same flavor in between, adding more and more regular gum. For the lozenge, you need to start subbing a mint in between to begin, increasing the number of them over time. I do not recommend the e-cigarette for four reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion, 3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire and 4) you can become addicted to that and it has not yet been proven safe .
It will be informative if you do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site. As you track each cigarette smoked, note its importance, and what you might do instead. Put each one off just a little to prove that you don't NEED a cigarette just because you think you do.
The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced. Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit. If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T. You need to distract yourself through any craves. You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game. Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time. You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits. Get busy! Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas: https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instead-of-smokeThe conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?" Then DO it. You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.
Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!
What does failure look like? Smoking? You're doing that right now, so nothing to fear there.
Most people fear withdrawal symptoms, so it's best to be prepared for cravings What To Expect In The First Four Months and 101 Things to Do Instead of Smoke have great ideas.
It's hard, but it's doable!
Welcome to the Ex. Congrats on your decision to quit. Fear is a part of this for many and what we fear can be for different reasons. Failing doesn't have to be a predetermined outcome. Preparing and educating yourself about this addiction and what to expect along the way, makes a world of difference. That's what we're here for. We have experiences and successes to share with you. Look forward to celebrating the big exciting day and cheering you on tomorrow. Reach out if you need help. We're here for you.
Welcome to Ex’s ... glad you made the decision to quit smoking ... you haven’t even quit and you are afraid of failure... please please start getting excited for your quit day...honestly it is the best day...you will be choosing your life over cigarettes... it is hard work, but so doable...if you haven’t already go read and prepare at My EX Plan | BecomeAnEX is is good to have knowledge on quitting and smoking. Also, prepare what you will do in place of smoking. Keep close to the site for support ... ~ Colleen 118 days ago I was You ...
Change is scary. I'll tell you, though, it's a lot scarier the day before you quit than the day of. We often build up the terror in our minds, make it mountain instead of a molehill. This journey is really all about attitude. I found it helps to not think in terms of "FOREVER." Tomorrow is just one day. 24 hours. You can get through 24 hours without a cigarette. Just think, part of that time you'll be fast asleep! Have heart! Don't Be Afraid
One day at a time you will do GOOD! We are with ya!
Yah, to be honest with you, I guess I felt as you do -- just before I quit in 2013. I wondered if I would double back on myself and ruin my goal to quit by caving in. But I quit!!! Surprised myself. Stick with Ex. You will be surrounded by a great group of quitters...ready to listen, able to care about your progress. This is a one day at a time journey--take it one day at a time--absolutely no more than that. Yes you can.
One day at a time and when that it too long, make it one MOMENT at a time or one FEELING at a time. Remember that we are here and that we all started with a day one...make it a day WON. You can do this, do the reading, stay close to the site, take deep breaths, shake your head, distract yourself. I used Sour Patch kids and they did change my mind so I was able to keep on going. I also kept frozen blueberries and frozen cherries available next to the computer. I came here every single morning and every evening and in between when I needed to. Exercise if you can, listen to loud music, sing, dance, laugh. You are beginning the best journey you can even imagine.
Welcome to EX,
The fact that you have a horrible fear of relapse tells me that you are serious.
If I am not afraid of relapse, I will likely have one. I need to be terrified of having a relapse! I don't ever want to go through the withdrawal again.
My quit date is tomorrow and like you, That's what I fear the most.
Relapsing always made me turn into a liar. I lied to my Hubby kids, sisters and friends about having relapsed. I kept telling myself that I would quit when I finished this one pack but after a while, I got so sick of lying and hiding that I would tell them the truth.
I can't tell you how many relapses I have had and how guilty and ashamed I felt every time. I'm done doing that to myself. Its just plain hell to go through.
You and I along with everyone else here can do this! I don't know about you, but I'm not too proud to ask God for some help with the temptations either. Good luck and God's blessings on your decision. I'll be joining you tomorrow.
Today is the big day! You won't be an April fool. One day at a time.
Welcome! Youngatheart.7.4.12 Nancy posted a wonderful welcome message. Please accept my welcome to you as well.
There is a great blog out there for our new quitters. For Our New Years' Quitters (and community members, too) . You may also want to check out posts in Best of EX. We are here to help you on this journey to freedom!
Welcome! I know when I first found this site, many Elders told me to read read read….and I did. Elders are those with one or more years of being quit. If you like what someone has to say, then you may want to read their blogs. I have some listed below.
A list of our Elders ELDER'S LIST
So here's the thing.....and you may not like what I am about to say....and that's ok. I get it. You need to accept that this is an addiction. Before you do that, it will be much more difficult to quit and stay quit.
Read read read. Do the steps to PREPARE yourself to quit. Do the steps so you are PREPARED on quit day and for the days AFTER quit day.
Some of the things I read in my first few days that helped me:
Dale’s Welcome to New Members My Welcome To New Members (10 Years Of Watching)
Nancy’s Blog 101 Things to Do Instead of Smoke
jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 Dale’s Blog What To Expect In The First Four Months
JACKIE1-25-15 gave me the link to Alan Carr’s book, “Easy Way to Quit Smoking”. I actually didn’t read the online PDF, but purchased a book on CD from Amazon and listened to it in my car over and over again for the first two weeks of my quit.
Keep this site close and keep posting and asking for help. You will get it. You will get things you like and things you don't like, but don't give up!!! We have been through similar experiences and can share our strength and hope. We are here to support you!
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