I’ve been reading so much here and getting such great support. No smoke up my skirt answers, but real truths of others experiences echoed by others. At day 12, I read the 2nd week wasn’t going to be as much better than I thought. True. Now I’ve run across a thread about No Mans Land at about 30 days and how hard a passage that could be for a long time. It’s hard to keep up a good mental attitude when I keep hearing it’s going to possibly get even harder. I’ve caught a cold so that isn’t helping either. I’m not looking for miracles, but just reading at some point I will be glad isn’t cutting iit right now. I’m depressed, tired and crying so much. I don’t want a cigarette. I’m just not finding coming here as appealing (?) as I did. What else will I read with no real light can cling to? It’s not anyone here’s fault, just my enthusiasm waning faster than I expected. I’m also alone, literally. No family, friends. Just people I pay to spill my guts and am cut off from that because of various reasons for the next 2 weeks. Can’t volunteer because I am sick. Have an elderly dog I very worried about. I watched cancer take my husband for 4 years and while this is not as horrid as that, I’m at a loss of how to do this alone. This place is great, but it doesn’t replace human contact. Sorry for making this sound like a plea for therapy, but addiction does need a lot of psych help. I wish I did have someone here I could gripe to and maybe help me lighten up a bit. Not that I would, but Anaussiemom said she wanted to bite her husband. I understand that feeling. I know if mine were here I’d see some extra motivation. More time to live with him. I just want to crawl into bed and not wake up for a very long time. This quit was not planned. I had no choice so maybe that is playing into it? No reading, no planned date, no time to educate myself. Just bam!
I thank everyone of you for putting up with me.