Not coping well

[hattonc]

I’m just not grasping the quitting thing lately ., I do so good for a few days then I just cave in .. I know what’s triggering it but how do you get rid of someone... it sounds confusing but it’s the truth .. I can handle everything else but not this situation.. just dealing with too much right now.. most times I just get on here and read .. I’ve found that not staying close to this site is like taking off a life vest .. you just start sinking .. I do need help cuz this quit has been very hard for me... have a good day .. 

[Barbscloud]

I'm not sure what it means "how to get rid of someone", but my significant other doesn't make it easy. I quit smoking in spite of him.     It's your quit, no one else's.  We don't always have the support we want or need, so want it for yourself.  

If you read many of the posts on this site, people are going through a lot everyday.  It's true what everyone says; smoking isn't going to make it any better.   Sounds like you found you're own solution - stay close to this site.

168 DOF

[JACKIE1-25-15]

Sorry that you keep picking up. One would say you may be using this one thing or someone as an EXcuse.  You can not allow someone or anything to be in control of you. The idea is NOPE. Not one puff ever. No matter what is happening in your life.  You have to make up your mind that no matter WHAT WHO WHEN WHERE ...NOTHING WILL BE A REASON TO SMOKE.  NOTHING.   You have to go through the withdrawal, detox, like any other drug.  You have to do it whether you like it or not.    You have got to get past this hard, bad, ugly, difficult part to get to the freedom. If you can continue to do that you will be free and it gets easier.  Each time you go back to day one it gets harder.  Take the option of smoking out of the equation and just do something else.  Stay close, hang tough, never give up or in, be mindful of what is going on in your life so you can make the adjustments to get past the cravings.  They only last for a few minutes. Let it go and move forward.  You can do it. 

[Mandolinrain]

Maybe whats happening is your taking in to much 'stuff', meaning your focus is quitting around all the other things except for the actual 'quit' itself.

We are all different, how we look at this but the one common factor comes down to the 'choice' . It yours to make and your alone. How you allow others to influence your choice is either an excuse or a fact.

You have to selfish here and take care of your quit. You have to hold it like a precious baby. You have to tend to it and not neglect it.

What you should not do is find ways to blame your struggle to quit r your quit itself on anyone or anything. That becomes an excuse. Instead....focus on right this minute...this second.. and yes it may take many single seconds or minutes to look after, but in the end...you have you and you have your quit. Its up to you which you will keep....or keep making excuses for

[YoungAtHeart]

If you give it some thought, I think you will realize that smoking did not do one thing to make dealing with  "someone" any easier.  You could also take a walk, or a drive or play a computer game or do most anything else to help deal with them.  You just need to do something - smoking is NOT required!

Start again - stay closer to us - have an idea what you can do when "someone" is getting to you.  Make a list and keep it handy.  This quit thing takes effort in the early days - but it does get easier and easier to do.

I hope you start in again soon!

Nancy

[desiree465]

There will always be something or someone in your life that will be the reason that you have to smoke. In reality though it's just your addiction telling you that, because you don't need to smoke to get through something or deal with someone. So stop letting this addiction tell you lies. It's tough I know but you really can do this even in the hardest of times. 

[Bellegonia]

Hattonc,

I'm only 36 hours in so I don't have much to lend like the other experienced EXsmokers but I did want to say that what they wrote makes total sense. It's been a life experience of mine that like people attract like people. For example, no alcoholic likes to drink alone or no smoker likes to smoke alone unless there's no one else to drink or smoke with. Your quitting may be threatening to someone in your life and undermining or sabatoaging your efforts will work if you let it work. I've seen some really good articles on the triggers for addicts and one of them suggested removing yourself from the triggers at least until you can handle them - and this goes for people too or social situations. If it's your Honey that may be difficult... my Honey is a daily THC user and after work we would spend a happy 2 hours drinking and smoking while I prepared dinner. I knew I had to give up alcohol along with nicotine if I want to be successful because I read a lot about quitting before I quit. I psyched myself up for the challenge knowing it was going to change some big daily rituals in my life. I also talked with him about it at length, offered to do this together, back and forth and sideways. But it has come down to me, I own this because I NEED to for me.

A lot of articles and people also say you may try to quit a million times and it's the 1 million and 1th time that finally works. Don't give up! Don't beat yourself up! Today is a new day.

Hugs,

Barbara

[Barbscloud]

Welcome to another Barbara.   Congrats on your 36 hours.   It's a great beginning to your journey.

[karenjones]

You do have alot to lend. I am impressed. Your head is really in the place.  only 36 hours in. Brilliant!

[maryfreecig]

    Halt. Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired.

    It's not easy letting go of an addiction, so if coming to this site regularly is going to help you  think more positively, to have more faith in your own decision to quit, then keep coming back.