I have no support because I am a secret smoker!

[SMTP]

Hi, it is my day two after years of day twos, but I was all excited, made a plan, started Bikram yoga again...I'm in good shape despite the smoking...ugg. But the plan isn't making me feel anything but sad and lonely. I keep crying. Is that normal? Also I am a closet smoker have been nearly my whole adult life so I can't ask for help that is why I came here. 

[Daniela2016]

Yes my dear, crying has happened to many of us quitters, and it is part of the mourning, as well as emotional relief.  Congratulations on 2 days, and on reaching us! Please do not consider yourself without support, it is what we are here for.

At the beginning I have learned a lot about addiction, I opened myself to the learning, acknowledging it is an addiction I have, and opened up to many suggestions offered here.

I read "the easy way to quit smoking" by Allan Carr, as well as many blogs posted here, based on many years experience.

I've learned how to breathe during a crave, and that I need to take it one day, one hour, sometimes one minute at the time.

Welcome and please come and blog about your experiences, and we'll try to help as best we know!

[SMTP]

Good morning Daniela, thank you for your reply. I am glad I found this community. I to know all about addiction (sober almost 15 years) but always considered cigs a "lesser" addiction....just another excuse the addiction gives me! Well, I don't feel like crying today so that is a good sign. I wouldn't have made it last night without this forum, so thank you for all your great suggestions!

[Lisaml]

I can completely relate. I was also a secret smoker for many, many years. I was a master at hiding it. 

So, just like you, had no support when I quit. 

But the good news is, life has just become so much easier for you! 

GONE is the calculation, planning, secrecy, manipulation that is necessary to be a closet smoker. 

You are free to just be yourself. Hiding an addiction is extremely difficult work. It’s exhausting and all consuming. 

WAY to go in kicking it! 

Xoxoxo

[SMTP]

Hi Lisami, I spent a good deal of time reading comments here from closet smokers. I know my best friend is one also...but always thought something was very wrong with me. Again, thank you for your response and reaching out because it takes away so much of the shame of being hooked to this stupid crazy time consuming deadly ritual. Yes, I look forward to being free of that cycle. Thank you so much for being there!

[Barbscloud]

Welcome to the Ex and congrats on your two days.  You're emotions will be all over the place for a while.  Sadness is a very common response, so don't let be an excuse to smoke.  The first week isn't easy, so give yourself time to adjust to your feelings.  It's a journey and it takes time.  Read and education yourself.   Reach out if you need help.  We're here for you.

155 DOF

[SMTP]

Hello Barbscloud, I read so many of you your replies last night and they were SO helpful to stay strong. Thank you for your personal reply. Right now I feel okay, I'll let you know around 5pm. haha. Phew. I am really glad I found a place to to tell my truth. Thank you for validating that my emotions are okay!

[desiree465]

Oh boy I remember that feeling. I promise it won't take long for the sadness to go away and when you are sad tell us about it. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and it's not from the end of a cigarette. 

[stAn3]

You do have support. It is here. You are reaching out for it and receiving it right now. 

This is site has a lot to offer. I visit the site everyday. It is my main support.

[YoungAtHeart]

Welcome to our community!
 

Congratulations on your decision to quit smoking and your first two days WON!  Your freedom will give you more than you ever dreamed.  Your stress level will be reduced by 95% - not worrying about when you can sneak off to get a fix, about clearing up the smell on your hands and clothes, about where you can hide the cigarettes and lighter......You will have so much more time AND mental energy, too.

 
The most important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. You can search for it online or at your local library. Here's a link to a video here on the site which describes nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.
 
 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmokingonline.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance.
 
The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
 
You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
 
https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...
 
The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.
 
Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!
 Nancy