It is so easy, so seductive, like a thief in the night. Things are going bad, it's an old problem with a beloved family member that continues to rear its head. The problem has been prayed about, agonized over, studied from every angle. There is no light. There are only black thoughts.
It seems like no one cares. God hasn't given any sign. Everythng looks dark and the "woe is me" thoughts start to creep in. "Who cares if I smoke. Maybe I'll die sooner and go to heaven. The worries will be over. Maybe I'll lose a little of this hated flab that won't come off no matter how much I exercise."
It is so insidious. Like shadows, the thoughts drift in like the tide. First into the back of the mind and then to the front of the mind. Soon the thoughts don't seem so far fetched. Soon they become possibilities and very soon after that they become probabilities.
And then, suddenly keys are in hand and the corner store still stocks those cigarettes right where they always were..............like an old friend, they have waited just for me...everything will be okay now. I can smoke away my troubles and to HELL with everything else.
Has anyone else been here? I'm not going to smoke today, but I can see how easy it would be.
I made the commitment to myself and to God, but man, some days are so very hard!
Love you guys. Thanks for listening.